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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people nor get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

In this contemporary era, life is so stressful / hectic due to workload. There is no doubt that many working individuals have health issues due to lack of exercise. The main reason for not engaging in physical activities is the busy lifestyle of people. This problem could be resolved by making a proper time schedule for each activity. Firstly, nowadays, people have so much work pressure so they get less time to do any exercise. In the corporate sector, employees usually work for 8-10 hours and they go to work early in the morning; when they return home in the evening, they get busy in other household works. On the other hand, laziness also plays a role in preventing people from involving themselves in physical exertion as people generally like spending their leisure time by relaxing or by watching television. Many initiatives can be taken to find enough time to perform any exercise. People need to make a schedule that includes / incorporates physical activity. For example, people who cannot participate in heavy physical activities can attend yoga classes in the morning before going to office. Moreover, in free time, instead of watching TV or getting relaxation people should do some exertion activities as it would not only diminish the health problems but also relieve the stress. Apart from that working professionals can go for a morning walk daily as it relaxes their mind. In conclusion, working people do not get enough exercise because of the long work hours and hectic lifestyle that leave them fatigued. However, by making a sincere effort it is possible for everyone to find some time for exercise.
In this contemporary era, life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
stressful / hectic due to workload. There is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
working individuals have health issues due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. The main reason for not engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is the busy lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This problem could
be resolved
by making a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
schedule for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Firstly
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. In the corporate sector, employees
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for 8-10
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours and
they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
early in the morning; when they return home in the evening, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
busy in other household works.
On the other hand
, laziness
also
plays a role in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from involving themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exertion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
like spending their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by relaxing or by watching television.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
initiatives can
be taken
to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to perform any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a schedule that includes / incorporates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot participate in heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can attend yoga classes in the morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to office.
Moreover
, in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
instead
of watching TV or getting relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exertion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diminish the health problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
relieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Apart from that working professionals can go for a morning walk daily as it relaxes their mind.

In conclusion
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours and hectic lifestyle that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them fatigued.
However
, by making a sincere effort it is possible for everyone to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people nor get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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