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Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? - LOon
The issue of the health of most job holders is in danger because they do not have the routine sports activities has grown in importance over the past few decades. There are several reasons that led to this issue and various measures that how this problem can be solved immediately. Undoubtedly, there are lots of acceptable reasons concerning the reduction of willing to exercise. One of the significant factors is that most number population have hectic life so they deal with lack of time, it means that their priority is job satisfaction so they spend the most time for working instead of other activities like sporting. Another reason can be that the cost paid to the sports training is pretty much expensive. Therefore, some employee can not afford this expenditure. For instance, if a worker decided to go to the gym, most of the time he or she must pay a great deal of money. However, for some obvious reasons described above, there are several measures suggested to solve this critical issue. Firstly, the most significant solution is that the government has to provide free utility for inhabitants. In other words, some facilities must be allocated to people who have not enough budget for sporting like free sports clubs, financial supports planning for all members of the worker families. secondly, the international media plays an important role in people, s lifestyle. A good example is that some tv programmes not only can promote the benefits of routine physical activities but also it can reveal the statistics that the considerable number of people who have no pastime activities suffers from many health disorders such as obesity and high blood pressure that lead to increase the risk of heart attacked. In conclusion, it is clear that having regular exercise is difficult for working people while this issue has many detrimental effects on their health. I believe that people will be encouraged to sport if governments and International media measure this problem seriously.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of the health of most job holders is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have the routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has grown in importance over the past few decades. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that led to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
and various measures that how this problem can
be solved
immediately.

Undoubtedly
, there are lots of acceptable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
concerning the reduction of willing to exercise. One of the significant factors is that
Use only "number" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most number
population have hectic life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they deal with lack of time, it means that their priority is job satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they spend the most time for working
instead
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like sporting. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
can be that the cost paid to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
training is pretty much expensive.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employee can not afford this expenditure.
For instance
, if a worker decided to go to the gym, most of the time he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay a great deal of money.

However
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above, there are several measures
The verb 'suggested' is used with the gerund form: "suggested solving".
suggested to solve
this critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Firstly
, the most significant solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
provide free utility for inhabitants.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget for sporting like free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs, financial supports planning for all members of the worker families.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, the international media plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, s lifestyle. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can promote the benefits of routine physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can reveal the statistics that the considerable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have no pastime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
suffers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health disorders such as obesity and high blood pressure that lead to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of heart attacked.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that having regular exercise is difficult for working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on their health. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and International media measure this problem
seriously
.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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