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Many women are in the workforce today, but only a few are in senior positions.

Many women are in the workforce today, but only a few are in senior positions. bbPYq
In spite of the fact that a plethora of countries have a number of policies about equality between male and female, a lot of women who are in the workplace do not have an opportunity to be filled at a senior level. While the main reason which cause this phenomenon is gender discrimination, there are still numerous solutions to tackle. Speaking for cause of this matter, the discrimination of males prevents women from achieving high position in the workforce. Notwithstanding the fact that a number of females in business have extremely high academic levels, they are underestimated lower than the opposite gender co-employees. Consequently, female labour-force are not usually considered for promotion by male supervisors. Moreover, adolescents are also a serious matter for such a business woman who has recently commenced a family to concern. For instance, women who employ in receptionist and secretary are not received respect from their dominant male boss due to lower level and gender, in spite of their high qualification. Thus, female workforce do not step up the ladder and reach the higher level positions nowadays in the light of gender distinction. There are several measures that are capable of being taken to solve this problem. First, the governments had better establish better workplace policies for females. As a consequence, women are able to contrive their timetable so that they can dedicate their enthusiasm to their jobs. For example, in many nations, there is always a policy for maternity of female employees about days off and salaries that they receive before giving birth. Second, the authorities ought to raise individual’s awareness about gender equality since they still studied at school. As a result, the employing standards will accord to the abilities, experiences and qualifications of people. To recapitulate, gender discrimination is the main cause for the underestimate of females in workplace. Nevertheless, there are solutions that can taken to deal with this matter regarding institute positive policies for female labor-force and enhance people’s acknowledgement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that a plethora of countries have a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
about equality between male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are in the workplace do not have an opportunity to
be filled
at a senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
. While the main reason which cause this phenomenon is gender discrimination, there are
still
numerous solutions to tackle.

Speaking for cause of this matter, the discrimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from achieving high position in the workforce. Notwithstanding the fact that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in business have
extremely
high academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
, they
are underestimated
lower than the opposite gender co-employees.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
Possible spelling mistake found.
labour-force
are not
usually
considered for promotion by male supervisors.
Moreover
, adolescents are
also
a serious matter for such a business woman who has recently commenced a family to concern.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who employ in receptionist and secretary are not received respect from their dominant male boss due to lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
and gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
their high qualification.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
workforce do not step up the ladder and reach the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
positions nowadays in the light of gender distinction.

There are several measures that are capable of
being taken
to solve this problem.
First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
had better establish better workplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are able to contrive their timetable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can dedicate their enthusiasm to their jobs.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, there is always a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
for maternity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employees about days off and salaries that they receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving birth. Second, the authorities ought to raise individual’s awareness about gender equality since they
still
studied at school.
As a result
, the employing standards will accord to the abilities, experiences and qualifications of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To recapitulate, gender discrimination is the main cause for the underestimate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in workplace.
Nevertheless
, there are solutions that can taken to deal with this matter regarding institute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
labor-force and enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'acknowledgement' is British English.
acknowledgement
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IELTS essay Many women are in the workforce today, but only a few are in senior positions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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