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Many urban planning experts believe that Southeast Asian cities are not good places to live in terms of how active they are. Do you agree?

Many urban planning experts believe that Southeast Asian cities are not good places to live in terms of how active they are. Do you agree? nVdPR
Currently, cities in Southeast Asia are being considered by many urban planning experts as not good places in terms of how active they are. I agree that it’s not a good place in the present, but Southeast Asia is also attracting and in the near future, it's trying to improve its problem. First of all, I argue because I think that currently in big cities in Southeast Asia countries, they are focusing on building shopping centers to serve the needs of young people but forget about the healthy activity needs of the people. For example, the state allows the destruction of vacant land to build a shopping centre instead of building a park for people to ride bicycles, fly kites, . . . Secondly, air pollution is also a detrimental cause for people’s healthy outdoor activities. Indeed, in cities where there is a lot of smog, people do not want to go out for outdoor activities. Southeast Asia cities generally have a lower cost of living than most western cities, food expenditure, rent, water and electricity are low. For the same price, they can buy triple the goods in southeast Asia compared to those in the western cities. Health care does not cost a fortune especially when you have health insurance which costs roughly 5$ a year. Other insurance are inexpensive as well. This proves a lot of Southeast Asian cities and governments care about their citizen’s health and life conditions. Overall, Southeast Asian cities are not the suitable place to live for the critic at the moment. But it proves itself worth waiting for. I believe in the near future southeast Asian cities will be the new black.
Currently
,
cities
in Southeast Asia are
being considered
by
many
urban planning experts as not
good
places in terms of how active they are. I
agree
that it’s not a
good
place in the present,
but
Southeast Asia is
also
attracting and in the near future, it's trying to
improve
its problem.

First of all
, I argue
because
I
think
that
currently
in
big
cities
in Southeast Asia countries, they are focusing on building shopping centers to serve the needs of young
people
but
forget about the healthy activity needs of the
people
.
For example
, the state
allows
the destruction of vacant land to build a shopping
centre
instead
of building a park for
people
to ride bicycles,
fly
kites
, .
.
.
Secondly
, air pollution is
also
a detrimental cause for
people’s
healthy outdoor activities.
Indeed
, in
cities
where there is
a lot of
smog,
people
do not want to go out for outdoor activities.

Southeast Asia
cities
generally
have a lower cost of living than most western
cities
, food expenditure, rent, water and electricity are low. For the same price, they can
buy
triple the
goods
in
southeast Asia
compared to those in the western
cities
. Health care does not cost a fortune
especially
when you have health insurance which costs roughly
5$
a year. Other insurance are inexpensive
as well
. This proves
a lot of Southeast
Asian
cities
and
governments
care about their citizen’s health and life conditions.

Overall
, Southeast Asian
cities
are not the suitable place to
live
for the critic at the moment.
But
it proves itself worth waiting for. I believe in the near future southeast Asian
cities
will be the new black.
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IELTS essay Many urban planning experts believe that Southeast Asian cities are not good places to live in terms of how active they are. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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