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Many university students live with their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many university students live with their families. 9aVgj
A number of undergraduates stay with their families. In my opinion, I agree that it has numerous benefits but it also has plenty of disadvantages. On the one hand, there are a lot of advantages to staying with their families. Firstly, there are numerous benefits for students. When students live with their parents, they do not have to worry about expenditures such as accommodation, pay bills. It is extremely wonderful due to the fact that students only concentrate on studying. According to numerous people, students entering university can enjoy home comfort, they can do whatever they want without anxiety. Moreover, their parents can take care of them in many household chores such as cooking, doing the laundry and ironing. On the other hand, there are also a plethora of drawbacks for pupils. Almost all students who stay with parents depend on their parents too much. They cannot solve problems on their own. For example, a survey conducted by Harvard University shows that 76% of students stayed in their hometown for studying, higher than pupils who arrived in another city to work. It puts them in trouble when they have to work or move to another area. Furthermore, pupils' privacy will be compromised and parents also control them by curfew. It leads to an argument with their family due to the fact that they have different viewpoints. In conclusion, there are a lot of reasons why students should live with their parents or not. In my view, I think it has both advantages and drawbacks.
A number of undergraduates stay with their families. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it has numerous benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages to staying with their families.
Firstly
, there are numerous benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about expenditures such as accommodation, pay bills. It is
extremely
wonderful due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on studying. According to numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
entering university can enjoy home comfort, they can do whatever they want without anxiety.
Moreover
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can take care of them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
household chores such as cooking, doing the laundry and ironing.

On the other hand
, there are
also
a plethora of drawbacks for pupils. Almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who stay with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
depend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
too much. They cannot solve problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, a survey conducted by Harvard University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 76% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stayed in their hometown for studying, higher than pupils who arrived in another city to work. It puts them in trouble when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another area.
Furthermore
, pupils' privacy will
be compromised
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
control them by curfew. It leads to an argument with their family due to the fact that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoints.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or not. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has both advantages and drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Many university students live with their families.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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