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Many unemployed people seek government help to get mobiles to access internet nowadays.

Many unemployed people seek government help to get mobiles to access internet nowadays. Personally, I disagree with that type of demand from unemployed people, because government has already been using public money effectively in other important matters. On the one hand, I agree that government should support unemployed people, because they already been suffering from anxiety and depression. Most people think the government should support them in return of taxes, and they are right, but government is doing its job at its best. For instance, the government support not only unemployed people, but they also provide subsidies in food, health, education and even in transportation to comfort their citizens. Many people give taxes, and keep themselves law abiding citizens as they know government doing its job responsibly. Nevertheless, I believe that to use public money and demand from the government to reduce employment is not justice from those people who are paying taxes. Firstly, government has the large spectrum to focus on including security issues as well. Although the government should support them by giving stipends on monthly basis to meet their basic needs and help them by giving opportunities of earning for those who willing to make a difference in their lives. Secondly, unemployed people already burden over the country’s economy, and even government facilitates them in health and in other matters so they don’t seek for extra.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mobiles to access internet nowadays.
Personally
, I disagree with that type of demand from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has already been using public money
effectively
in other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You used a past participle without using any required verb (‘be’ or ‘have’).
already been
suffering from anxiety and depression. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them in return of taxes, and they are right,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is doing its job at its best.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
provide subsidies in food, health, education and even in transportation to comfort their citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give taxes, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
law abiding
citizens as they know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
doing its job
responsibly
.

Nevertheless
, I believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public money and demand from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
employment is not justice from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are paying taxes.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the large spectrum to focus on including security issues
as well
. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them by giving stipends on monthly basis to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by giving opportunities of earning for those who willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already burden over the country’s economy, and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facilitates them in health and in other matters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don’t seek for extra.
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IELTS essay Many unemployed people seek government help to get mobiles to access internet nowadays.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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