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Do you think that in some circumstances governments should limit the freedom of the media

Do you think that in some circumstances governments should limit the freedom of the media xDM5y
These days, people tend to use social media to get information or for just entertaining. TV and internet can be used in order to watch or read online by people. Some argue that people should watch or read what they want, but others think it is a good idea that government should control the materials of the media. I completely disagree with this idea and in this essay I will support my opinion. Firstly, if there is no restriction on online materials, many reporters begin to write inaccurate data to their websites or post videos which have wrong information. In many countries populace face many troubles because of the incorrect information. Secondly, many young people use media on their own purposes. The videos that are being watched by teenagers may include violent or barbaric actions. Young people watch it easily without parental guidence or goverment's limit. This has a detrimental effect on children's mind and may couse psychological problems. That is why I have an opposite opinion about the statement. On the other hand, independence must not be limited. To my mind they can understand what is wrong or right for their own. They do not like their life which is managed by others. As a result people feel themselves limited. So, populace read or watch what what they would like to. To sum up, goverment should restrict some information and this might be beneficial for both adults and children. However, government should not control others' lives and I think it depends on people.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
entertaining. TV and internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
or read online by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
or read what they want,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the materials of the media. I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in this essay I will support my opinion.

Firstly
, if there is no restriction on online materials,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reporters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to write inaccurate data to their websites or post videos which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries populace face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
troubles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the incorrect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
media on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes. The videos that are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may include violent or barbaric actions. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it
easily
without parental
Possible spelling mistake found.
guidence
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
's limit.

This has a detrimental effect on children's mind and may
Possible spelling mistake found.
couse
psychological problems.
That is
why I have an opposite opinion about the statement.

On the other hand
, independence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be limited
. To my mind they can understand what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or right for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They do not like their life which
is managed
by others.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel themselves limited.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, populace read or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
Possible typo: you repeated a word
what what
they would like to.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should restrict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and this might be beneficial for both adults and children.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not control others'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Do you think that in some circumstances governments should limit the freedom of the media

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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