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Many students live far away from their parents to go to universities in big cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many students live far away from their parents to go to universities in big cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? mL8K1
Many people are of the opinion that in today's global world, many students opt for living without the presence of their parents to go to universities in sprawling cities. While this tendency may have some adverse demerits, I strongly argue that they are eclipsed by the benefits. On the one hand, living separately from parents has some downsides for adolescent learners. To commence with, pursuing higher education in metropolitan regions may have higher tuition fees which is not suitable for students having an unstable financial background. Therefore, the under-privileged have to do part time jobs to earn extra money can arguably result in workplace bullying and labor abuse. Thus, those job burdens potentially trigger prolonged fatigue that can be a precursor to mental health related diseases. In addition, young learners are susceptible to temptations in vibrant cities. Precisely, children are likely to be in contact with numerous kinds of people so they can be manipulated to use addictive substances or drugs, leading to poor academic performance. On the other hand, despite aforementioned shortcomings, the merits are far more significant. The first worth mentioning one is that metropolitan regions are home to reputable and prestigious universities. This advantage helps children to be exposed to cutting-edge facilities and highly qualified professors so they can widen specialized knowledge and academic abilities in an ideal learning environment. Another benefit is that attending higher education in big cities facilitates students in seeking jobs suited to their abilities in their post-graduate life. Moreover, learners can cultivate essential soft skills. The reasoning lies behind the fact that they need to deal with various circumstances and difficulties on their own ranging from doing household chores to managing monthly budgets, which shapes them to self-reliant and confident individuals in the future. In summary, although living in a big cities without the presence of parents may trigger various problems, I am strongly convinced that the merits are more considerable.
Many
people
are of the opinion that in
today
's global world,
many
students opt for living without the presence of their parents to go to universities in sprawling
cities
. While this tendency may have
some
adverse demerits, I
strongly
argue that they
are eclipsed
by the benefits.

On the one hand, living
separately
from parents has
some
downsides for adolescent learners. To commence with, pursuing higher education in metropolitan regions may have higher tuition fees which is not suitable for students having an unstable financial background.
Therefore
, the under-privileged
have to
do
part time
jobs to earn extra money can
arguably
result in workplace bullying and labor abuse.
Thus
, those job burdens
potentially
trigger prolonged fatigue that can be a precursor to mental health related diseases.
In addition
, young learners are susceptible to temptations in vibrant
cities
.
Precisely
, children are likely to be in contact with numerous kinds of
people
so
they can
be manipulated
to
use
addictive substances or drugs, leading to poor academic performance.

On the other hand
, despite aforementioned shortcomings, the merits are far more significant. The
first
worth mentioning one is that metropolitan regions are home
to
reputable and prestigious universities. This advantage
helps
children to
be exposed
to cutting-edge facilities and
highly
qualified professors
so
they can widen specialized knowledge and academic abilities in an ideal learning environment. Another benefit is that attending higher education in
big
cities
facilitates students in seeking jobs suited to their abilities in their post-graduate life.
Moreover
, learners can cultivate essential soft
skills
. The reasoning lies behind the fact that they need to deal with various circumstances and difficulties on their
own
ranging from doing household chores to managing monthly budgets, which shapes them to self-reliant and confident individuals in the future.

In summary, although living in a
big
cities
without the presence of parents may trigger various problems, I am
strongly
convinced that the merits are more considerable.
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IELTS essay Many students live far away from their parents to go to universities in big cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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