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MANY STUDENTS DECIDE TO FURTHER THEIR STUDY ABROAD. WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OR DRAWBACKS OF STUDYING ABROAD?

MANY STUDENTS DECIDE TO FURTHER THEIR STUDY ABROAD. WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OR DRAWBACKS OF STUDYING ABROAD? j9e6d
The students willing to study in foreign countries which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The susbstantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in rcent years. In my opinion, going to abroad for higher studies appear to be more rational. Analyzing the statement and explaining it further, the first and foremost reason behind this is that students get a chance to explore new and different cultures of the country they study in. Every country has their own cultures and festivals that they celebrate in their own unique manner. However, students tend to gain more knowledge about these rituals which results in social gathering in all the festivals irrespective of the religion they belong to. For instance, My friend went to canada two years back to pursue masters in commerce. He was unaware of the Halloween which is celebrated their at the end of the October month. He learnt the reason behind it and eventually he was excited to celebrate it the next year. Moreover, when he visited india three months back, he amusingly told us about the halloween and his experience. Furthermore, another striking benefit in this regard is, students get part time jobs in foreign countries which allows them to be independent at early age. The jobs provide them with good amount of weekly wage through which students are able to pay off their college fee along with living a good life on their own. To examplify, In india the students do not get job opportunities at early age. Also, part time jobs do no provide with satisfying salaries. So, many students decide to move to foreign countries in order to become dependent on themselves rather than on their families. To recapitulate, according to the benefits mentioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that, studying abroad could be quite advantageous as one gets a chance to live in another country and go through a new life full of adventures. Also, living on their own, an individual becomes independent in their life which is a commendable point in one's life.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
willing to study in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become

more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
notion
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
susbstantial
influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
potential


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
impact
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
rcent
years. In my opinion,
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "going abroad"?
going to abroad
for higher studies appear to be more rational.

Analyzing the statement and explaining it
further
, the
first
and foremost reason behind this is that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to explore new and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they study in. Every
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
country


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
has
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultures and festivals that they celebrate in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique manner.
However
, students

tend to gain more knowledge about these rituals which results in social gathering in all the festivals

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
irrespective
of the religion they belong to.
For instance
, My friend went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
canada
two years
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
back


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
pursue masters in commerce. He was unaware of the Halloween which
is celebrated
their at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
October month. He
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the reason behind it and
eventually
he
was excited
to celebrate it the
next
year.

Moreover
, when he visited
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
three months back, he
amusingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
halloween
and his experience.

Furthermore
, another striking benefit in this regard is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
allows
them to be independent at early age. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
provide them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of weekly wage through
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
which


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
are able to pay off their college fee along with living a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, In
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
india


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities at early age.
Also
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do no provide with satisfying salaries.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to become dependent on themselves
rather
than on their

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
families
.

To recapitulate, according to the benefits mentioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that, studying abroad could be

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
quite
advantageous as one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and go through a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
full of adventures.
Also
,

living on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, an individual becomes independent in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which is a commendable point in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay MANY STUDENTS DECIDE TO FURTHER THEIR STUDY ABROAD. WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OR DRAWBACKS OF STUDYING ABROAD?

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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