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Many students choose to complete at least some of their university studies in a foreign country. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? v.1

Many students choose to complete at least some of their university studies in a foreign country. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? v. 1
Nowadays, many school leavers are opting to study abroad for some period of time. This phenomenon has both positive and negative effects on students. I strongly believe that studying in a foreign country can be a valuable experience. It can make a person responsible. It can expose him to a new culture and language; however, a person may become lonely and homesick. One main advantage of studying abroad is that students gain a sense of responsibility. They get the opportunity to manage their own financial expenditures without having to rely on their parents. For instance, they have to handle payments of rent and utility bills. In addition, they get to travel back and forth from university to home on their own. Finally, they get to learn how to prepare meals, and how to clean. So, once they return home, they are fully self reliant and responsible. Exposure to a new culture is another advantage of studying in a far place from home. Students become familiar with the country's traditions and festivals. They learn native dialects while mingling with locals, and that may come handy when looking for jobs later on. Moreover, Students have ample chance to establish new friendships that can last a lifetime. Therefore, exposure to a new tradition shapes the personality of individuals. Despite these positive effects, studying abroad has some drawbacks. One drawback is loneliness and homesickness. When students travel away from their beloved ones, they get to miss their parents and siblings particularly during especial family events. Also, they get to miss being with their childhood friends and neighbours. What's more, they get to miss local cuisines and beverages. While there are some disadvantages to studying at a foreign university, the advantages are greater. I think everyone should do it.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
are opting to study abroad for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
period of time. This phenomenon has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign country can be a valuable experience. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person responsible. It can expose him to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture and language;
however
, a person may become lonely and homesick.

One main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain a sense of responsibility. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial expenditures without having to rely on their parents.
For instance
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
handle payments of rent and utility bills.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to travel back and forth from university to home on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Finally
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn how to prepare meals, and how to clean.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, once they return home, they are
fully
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliant
and responsible.

Exposure to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture is another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a far place from home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
become familiar with the country's traditions and festivals. They learn native dialects while mingling with locals, and that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
handy when looking for jobs later on.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have ample chance to establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friendships that can last a lifetime.
Therefore
, exposure to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tradition shapes the personality of individuals.

Despite these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. One drawback is loneliness and homesickness. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
travel away from their beloved ones, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to miss their parents and siblings
particularly
during especial family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to miss being with their childhood friends and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. What's more, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to miss local cuisines and beverages.

While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at a foreign university, the advantages are greater. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone should do it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many students choose to complete at least some of their university studies in a foreign country. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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