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Many scientists think the computer will become brighter than humans in the blink of an eye. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many scientists think the computer will become brighter than humans in the blink of an eye. gYVxd
Many scientists believe that computer will in no distance time become more brilliant than humans. I partly agree with this statement because the use of computers make life much easier and as of today they are now being employ in areas like manufacturing and processing plant even also in the medical field. However, this technology poses great threat to some people who will be rendered unemployed when machines or robots finally take over from humans. To begin with, in our technology driven world today, computers have made life much more easier as one can easily share information with someone who is 1000miles away from them within minutes. A lot of people now can work right from their bedroom without passing through the heavy traffic of the early hours to their offices to attend to clients and partners. For instance, I read online recently that during covid-19 pandemic that held the world to a stand still, many America companies had to resort to making their staff work from home using their computers. This has changed the world that even when the lock down has been lifted many now wish to work from home. However, this machines are a huge threat to humans because when computers become so much intelligent that they can now do the work of human beings unemployment will surely set in. This is so because many employed individuals will be relieved of their duties since machine are now capable of doing the same job speedily and more accurately. Crime will become order of the day because idleness will cause many to take to criminality. Secondly, because machines are liable to be corrupted and be hacked by external programs, when this happens the resulting havoc may take years to recover from. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that computers are good development in our world today and that they should be applied in different industries in the world but I believe that caution should exercise while doing this because too much dependents on them is very dangerous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists believe that computer will in no distance time become more brilliant than humans. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
easier and as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
being employ in areas like manufacturing and processing plant even
also
in the medical field.
However
, this technology poses great threat to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who will
be rendered
unemployed when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
or robots
finally
take over from humans.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in our technology driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, computers have made life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
one can
easily
share information with someone who is
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1000miles
away from them within minutes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
right from their bedroom without passing through the heavy traffic of the early hours to their offices to attend to clients and partners.
For instance
, I read online recently that during
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
pandemic that held the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to a stand
still
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
had to resort to making their staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home using their computers. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that even when the lock down has
been lifted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.

However
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are a huge threat to humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when computers become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
intelligent that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of human
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "beings'" or "being's"?
beings
unemployment will
surely
set in. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employed individuals will
be relieved
of their duties since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
capable of doing the same job
speedily
and more
accurately
. Crime will become order of the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
idleness will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to take to criminality.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are liable to
be corrupted
and
be hacked
by external programs, when this happens the resulting havoc may take years to recover from.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and that they should
be applied
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that caution should exercise while doing this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
dependents on them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
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IELTS essay Many scientists think the computer will become brighter than humans in the blink of an eye.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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