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How does the usage of internet encouraging the people to isolate themselves and stopping us to socialize

How does the usage of internet encouraging the people to isolate themselves and stopping us to socialize Ywddd
In recent times we can see the usage of technology and internet has been increased drastically. There was a time where video calling was just a funny imagination but now it’s possible because of the advancement of technology and internet. The internet keeps us together no matter which part of world we live in we can contact people we want with just one click. Some people claim that the internet is isolating and encouraging people not to socialise which i disagree because it depends on how we are using it. There has been always a phrase saying "Technology and internet made life easier" but that should be rephrased as "The widespread usage of technology and internet has made life easier" as it all depends on the usage. Recently after the covid 19 outbreak as all the human interactions has been paused, we are still able to do our works and contact each other all because of the internet, even the schools started the online classes so that the students don’t miss their education and that’s possible only because of the internet. Not just that today we can even consult a doctors help online which is really a feasible way to most of us. We really cannot imagine the world without the internet especially in these modern days where most of the works. By considering all the points we discussed before I disagree that internet is isolating us from socialising as in reality internet is actually helping us socialise but just in a virtual way and it should be individual responsibility on how we are using the internet.
In recent times we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and internet has
been increased
drastically
. There was a
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
video calling was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it’s possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and internet. The internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us together no matter which part of world we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in we can contact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we want with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the internet is isolating and encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it depends on how we are using it. There has been always a phrase saying
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Technology and internet made life easier
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that should
be rephrased
as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The widespread usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and internet has made life easier
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
as it all depends on the usage.

Recently after the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
Possible agreement error. The noun 'outbreak' seems to be countable, so consider using: "outbreaks".
outbreak
as all the human interactions has
been paused
, we are
still
able to do our works and contact each other all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet, even the schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the online classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the students don’t miss their education and that’s possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we can even consult a doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
online which is
really
a feasible way to most of us. We
really
cannot imagine the world without the internet
especially
in these modern
It is better to use 'days' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "days when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
days where
most of the works.

By considering all the points we discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I disagree that internet is isolating us from
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
as in reality internet is actually helping us
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Consider replacing "in a virtual way" with the adverb for "virtual"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a virtual way
and it should be individual responsibility on how we are using the internet.
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IELTS essay How does the usage of internet encouraging the people to isolate themselves and stopping us to socialize

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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