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Many say that internet access must be limited to young children.To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. You should write at least 150 words

Many say that internet access must be limited to young children. with the statement. 9BENn
It goes without saying that limiting internet access is very important for today's youngsters. I will outline several reasons for this and put forward some measures to resolve this issue. To start with the advantages of the Internet, The Internet is becoming an essential tool for the current generation of students. It is capable of doing almost anything you ask it to. Just click a button and then the whole multitude of information will appear in about 1 to 2 seconds. In this way, students can advance their skills while they study as quickly as they want. They can absolutely do self-study based on some websites on the internet. Depending on the interests of students, they can surf social media sites such as Facebook or Instagram, take a selfie and upload it online to get reciprocal interaction. They can also share their stories on the internet. Other ones like playing games as recreational activities. It is a personal communicator that helps pupils interact with people around the world. Unless students' parents take control of what their kids are doing on the internet in a reasonable way, or students themselves can be autonomous and control what they are doing, the internet will become a miraculous tool. Despite the fact that the Internet has brought a lot of benefits for undergraduates, it can be dangerous for them. Firstly, overuse of the internet may lead to disorders in children since they spend an excessive amount of time on technological devices and neglect other real-life activities like playing sports, chatting with friends, or studying. As a result, most children become self-contained, less talkative, and less active. They only have negative behavior and often show discomfort and nag those around them. Secondly, being overdependent on the internet makes them passive and unable to brainstorm for ideas. On the other hand, using the internet so much has led to eye damage. It means students' eyes are overactive. It is worth nothing that there are tons of different types of cyber-bully and they always creep into elementary students' accounts in order to bully the other students in incognito mode, and the bullied will never know who is doing that. Poorly, they have to suffer from bad curses, but the worst part is that they won't share anything with anybody, even their family. In short, those are the reasons why internet access must be limited to adolescents in order to save them from a healthy lifestyle, get them back to real life, and allow them to enjoy the true value of life. Last but not least, the Internet is such a magical tool that science has brought to us, that young children nowadays have a lot of reasons to use the Internet. But kids are too young to know what they are doing on the internet, so adults or parents have to take care of their kids and help them set the time using the internet in a suitable way.
It goes without saying that limiting internet access is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's youngsters. I will outline several reasons for this and put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to resolve this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the advantages of the Internet, The Internet is becoming an essential tool for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is capable of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
almost anything you ask it to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
click a button and then the whole multitude of information will appear in about 1 to 2 seconds. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can advance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while they study as
quickly
as they want. They can
absolutely
do self-study based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites on the internet. Depending on the interests of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they can surf social media sites such as Facebook or Instagram, take a selfie and upload it online to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reciprocal interaction. They can
also
share their stories on the internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
ones like playing games as recreational activities. It is a personal communicator that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
pupils interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world. Unless students' parents take control of what their kids are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
on the internet
Consider replacing "in a reasonable way" with the adverb for "reasonable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a reasonable way
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves can be autonomous and control what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
, the internet will become a miraculous tool.

Despite the fact that the Internet has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for undergraduates, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for them.

Firstly
, overuse of the internet may lead to disorders in children since they spend an excessive amount of time on technological devices and neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
real-life activities like playing sports, chatting with friends, or studying.
As a result
, most children become self-contained, less talkative, and less active. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
discomfort and nag those around them.

Secondly
, being overdependent on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them passive and unable to brainstorm for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, using the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much has led to eye damage. It means students' eyes are overactive. It is worth nothing that there are tons of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cyber-bully and
they always creep into elementary students' accounts in order to bully the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in incognito mode, and the bullied will never know who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
that.
Poorly
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
curses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the worst part is that they won't share anything with anybody, even their family.

In short, those are the reasons why internet access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be limited
to adolescents in order to save them from a healthy lifestyle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them back to real life, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to enjoy the true value of life.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the Internet is such a magical tool that science has brought to us, that young children nowadays have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
kids are too young to know what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
on the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
adults or parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them set the time using the internet
Consider replacing "in a suitable way" with the adverb for "suitable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a suitable way
.
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IELTS essay Many say that internet access must be limited to young children. with the statement.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
492 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Many say that internet access must be limited to young children.To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. You should write at least 150 words