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Many retired people traveling internationally. Is it a positive or negative development

Many retired people traveling internationally. Is it a positive or negative development Rk3kV
These days many retired individual choose to live in foreign countries. there are some positives and negatives associated with this trend. This essay will discusses the same. Having said that, migration to other country after retirement will benefit the individual in some ways. Firstly, it provide enjoyment to the people. To explain, they will be stressed by involving in continuous job. When they visit other country they get a chance to enjoy the things provided there. . Thereby, the feel relaxed and active. Secondly, people have better health. For example, they will follow an active life style. They always try to engage in some sort of activity. Moreover, foreign country have better health care system. They provide good treatment for diseases. Nevertheless, although migration to foreign countries have some positives there are some negatives to. Firstly, when an individual is moved to other country in the initial time it will be difficult for them to adopt the changes because of language as well as the cultural barrier. They will have difficulty to understand the language used there. Likewise, the cost of living in a foreign country will be high. Those who migrate after their retirement may not feel to work again. Hence, it will be an economic burden for those who choose to live in a foreign country. These are the negatives of people migrating to foreign country. . To conclude, there are some advantages and disadvantages of living in a foreign country after retirement such as enjoyment, and language barrier and cost of living.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
retired individual choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives and negatives associated with this trend. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discusses
the same.

Having said that, migration to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after retirement will benefit the individual in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Firstly
, it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
enjoyment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
by involving in continuous job. When they visit other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to enjoy the things provided there.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Thereby, the feel relaxed and active.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have better health.
For example
, they will follow an active life style. They always try to engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of activity.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have better health care system. They provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
treatment for diseases.

Nevertheless
, although migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives to.
Firstly
, when an individual is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the initial time it will be difficult for them to adopt the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of language
as well
as the cultural barrier. They will have difficulty to understand the language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
there.
Likewise
, the cost of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be high. Those who migrate after their retirement may not feel to work again.
Hence
, it will be an economic burden for those who choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. These are the negatives of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after retirement such as enjoyment, and language barrier and cost of living.
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IELTS essay Many retired people traveling internationally. Is it a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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