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Many processed foods and drinks are packed with sugar and this leads to many health issues. I agree that, to reduce sugar consumption, sugar-packed products should be sold at a higher price.

Many processed foods and drinks are packed with sugar and this leads to many health issues. I agree that, to reduce sugar consumption, sugar-packed products should be sold at a higher price. VwraK
Many processed foods and drinks are packed with sugar and this leads to many health issues. I agree that, to reduce sugar consumption, sugar-packed products should be sold at a higher price. Many people over-consume sugary products because they are cheap. For example, in the United States, many fast-food restaurants offer free refills on sodas. As a result, customers tend to have two or even three sodas at a meal. If these restaurants were required to implement a 20% tax on these drinks and stop supplying free refills, many customers probably wouldn’t order one at all, let alone have a second one. A regulation like this could be extremely effective in terms of preventing obesity among low-income people since many of them are high consumers of cheap sugar-sweetened foods and beverages. In addition, making high-sugar products more expensive can promote healthier eating choices. This is because if the prices of these products increase to a point at which people are unable to afford them regularly, they may turn to foods that are healthier and more affordable. For instance, if a can of strawberry-flavored beverage costs 3 times the price of a box of fresh strawberries, why not choose the cheaper fresh fruits which can also satisfy a craving for sugar. Although fresh fruits also contain sugars, natural sugars are much healthier than added ones. In conclusion, sugar-sweetened products should be made more costly to reduce sugar intake. For one thing, the over-consumption of these products is partly because of their low cost. For another, increasing their price could encourage people to choose healthier food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and drinks
are packed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and this leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption, sugar-packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be sold
at a higher price.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over-consume sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
For example
, in the United States,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants offer free refills on sodas.
As a result
, customers tend to have two or even three sodas at a meal. If these restaurants
were required
to implement a 20% tax on these drinks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
supplying free refills,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers
probably
wouldn’t order one at all,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone have a second one. A regulation like this could be
extremely
effective in terms of preventing obesity among low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are high consumers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
sugar-sweetened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and beverages.

In addition
, making high-sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more expensive can promote healthier eating choices. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the prices of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
increase to a point at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to afford them
regularly
, they may turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that are healthier and more affordable.
For instance
, if a can of strawberry-flavored beverage costs 3 times the price of a box of fresh strawberries, why not choose the cheaper fresh fruits which can
also
satisfy a craving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. Although fresh fruits
also
contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
, natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
are much healthier than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
ones.

In conclusion
, sugar-sweetened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be made
more costly to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake. For one thing, the over-consumption of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is partly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their low cost. For another, increasing their price could encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
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IELTS essay Many processed foods and drinks are packed with sugar and this leads to many health issues. I agree that, to reduce sugar consumption, sugar-packed products should be sold at a higher price.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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