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Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age, if possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age, if possible. 1A1pN
Some people think it a good idea to stay in their jobs when they grow old. Personally, I strongly disagree with them on this matter. I will elaborate my arguments as follows. The primary reason that the elderly should retire is that they are physically fragile. Their immunity is certain to deteriorate with age, so that they are more vulnerable to illness. For them, the likelihood is extraordinarily high of falling ill under the stress in the workplace. When struck by disease, they also have difficulties in recovering readily, and thus, the conditions can be chronic. Considering the potential risk of healthy problems, it is unwise for them to continue working. Furthermore, even though a few people maintain robust health at their old age, they should withdraw from their occupation too - because it is a painful struggle for them to keep up with the times. In the age of technological innovation, many job sectors have undergone disruptive change, forcing professionals in these fields to learn from scratch and explore the unknown. This is just the serious weak point of the elderly, who tend to be conservative and not open to novelties. They usually stick to existing tools or solutions, reluctant to exercise their creativity. For this reason, the best option for them is to simply bow out of the employment market. To recapitulate, infirmity due to age proves a major hurdle to the career development of older people. The era of technological revolution also poses formidable challenges to them. Therefore, they should withdraw from their occupation at a ripe old age, despite their eagerness to continue their professional pursuit.
Some
people
think
it a
good
idea
to stay in their jobs when they grow
old
.
Personally
, I
strongly
disagree with them on this matter. I will elaborate my arguments as follows.

The primary reason that the elderly should retire is that they are
physically
fragile. Their immunity is certain to deteriorate with
age
,
so
that they are more vulnerable to illness. For them, the likelihood is
extraordinarily
high of falling ill under the
stress
in the workplace. When struck by disease, they
also
have difficulties in recovering
readily
, and
thus
, the conditions can be chronic. Considering the potential
risk
of healthy problems, it is unwise for them to continue working.

Furthermore
,
even though
a few
people
maintain robust health at their
old
age
, they should withdraw from their occupation too
-
because
it is a painful struggle for them to
keep
up with the times. In the
age
of technological innovation,
many
job sectors have undergone disruptive
change
, forcing professionals in these fields to learn from scratch and explore the unknown. This is
just
the serious weak point of the elderly, who tend to be conservative and not open to novelties. They
usually
stick to existing tools or solutions, reluctant to exercise their creativity.
For this reason
, the best option for them is to
simply
bow out of the employment market.

To recapitulate, infirmity due to
age
proves a major hurdle to the career development of older
people
. The era of technological revolution
also
poses formidable challenges to them.
Therefore
, they should withdraw from their occupation at a ripe
old
age
, despite their eagerness to continue their professional pursuit.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age, if possible.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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