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Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages 3a9jn
Nowadays, it is more common for people to spend more hours at work than they used to do a few decades ago. Although that this modern trend has some drawbacks such as affecting any attempt to create balance in life, I would argue that the benefits of this phenomenon are more significant than the downsides and they deserve to be taken into consideration. The following paragraphs will elaborate more on that. On the one hand, one of the main benefits of working for longer hours is that productivity is expected to be increased significantly. This would help any firm to reach its goals in a shorter period of time. For example, an engineer who aims to finish their work in a shorter period of time can make this possible by working for 10 hours per day instead of 8 hours, this would mostly reduce the designated time for the job to be done. Another advantage is that working for longer hours would provide workers with additional income which would improve the quality of their life. Furthermore, in developing countries, some people usually need to work for longer hours in order to be able to gain enough money to secure their essential needs. On the other hand, working for longer hours has some drawbacks as well. This often affects the balance between work and personal life. In other words, Many personal activities would be negatively affected due to the shortage of time. For instance, a person who is under constant stress at work would prefer to spend the rest of his day relaxing at home rather than involving in any other activities. As a result, people will suffer mentally and psychologically when they become socially isolated. In conclusion, although there are some negatives for people to work for longer hours, it seems that the positives are more significant in terms of productivity and improving individuals' income.
Nowadays, it is more common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do a few decades ago. Although that this modern trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as affecting any attempt to create balance in life, I would argue that the benefits of this phenomenon are more significant than the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
downsides and
they deserve to
be taken
into consideration. The following paragraphs will elaborate more on that.

On the one hand, one of the main benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is that productivity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be increased
significantly
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
any firm to reach its goals in a shorter period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, an engineer who aims to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a shorter period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day
instead
of 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, this would
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the designated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the job to
be done
. Another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
would provide workers with additional income which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of their life.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in order to be able to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to secure their essential needs.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
as well
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
affects the balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal life.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
personal activities would be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, a person who is under constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
would prefer to spend the rest of his day relaxing at home
rather
than involving in any other activities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will suffer mentally and
psychologically
when they become
socially
isolated.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, it seems that the positives are more significant in terms of productivity and improving individuals' income.
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IELTS essay Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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