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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? kmNd
Working late hours, and not sparing enough time for relaxation activities is becoming habit for a number of people these days. Even though these practice can have a few benefits, but it can end up in more than a few drawbacks. In my opinion, disadvantages of working long hours outweighs its advantages. On the one hand, People are getting stuffed with too much work these days. As a result, they have to work beyond standard hours to complete the work. Mentioning about some positive aspects, sometimes one can earn more money by putting more hours to work, and can also achieve the work target. It is common that such behaviour gets appreciated by the employer. For example, employees that work more than regular 8 hour clock schedule often get promoted due to the fact that they did put extra efforts to achieve the target. Furthermore, people are more inclined towards this doing due to the fact that they can earn almost the same amount of revenue as their regular job if they invest bit more time in free lancing. Nevertheless, this has great detrimental effects on the workers. First of all, rendering very little amount of time to themselves for entertainment, results in poor mental health. Secondly, a person can not spend enough time with dear ones and sometimes relations become weak with family members. Thirdly, even though having benefit of making more money, overtime can cause stress. Now, this stress generated due to over working will decrease the perfomance efficiency and puts the worker at the same place with less work done. For instance, study has found that employees become less effective by 20 percentage if they have worked for 10 hours on previous day. This means that there is actually no gain by doing overtime. In conclusion, It can be said that because of reduced performane on next day due to working late on previous day. On top of that, overtime also brings up some health issue and bad causes to relations. That’s why people should give enough time to leisure activities while keeping healthy balance with work hours.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, and not sparing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxation activities is becoming habit for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days.
Even though
these practice can have a few benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in more than a few drawbacks. In my opinion, disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
outweighs its advantages.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are getting stuffed with too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
these days.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
beyond standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Mentioning about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
one can earn more money by putting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and can
also
achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
target. It is common that such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
appreciated by the employer.
For example
, employees that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more than regular 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
clock schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that they did put extra efforts to achieve the target.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more inclined towards this doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that they can earn almost the same amount of revenue as their regular job if they invest bit more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
Did you mean "freelancing"?
free lancing
.

Nevertheless
, this has great detrimental effects on the workers.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, rendering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to themselves for entertainment, results in poor mental health.
Secondly
, a person can not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with dear ones and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
relations become weak with family members.
Thirdly
,
even though
having benefit of making more money, overtime can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
generated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
will decrease the
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfomance
efficiency and puts the worker at the same place with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done.
For instance
, study has found that employees become less effective by 20 percentage if they have worked for 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on previous day. This means that there is actually no gain by doing overtime.

In conclusion
, It can
be said
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
Possible spelling mistake found.
performane
on
next
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
late on previous day.
On top of that
, overtime
also
brings up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
causes to relations. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to leisure activities while keeping healthy balance with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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