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It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. KEXR
It is often held that teachers, peers and the media have a significant influence on the life of children. While some people argue that these factors are predominant in shaping a child's future, others believe that parents impact their offspring in more critical ways. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter. On the one hand, the books children read and the music they listen to form their belief system. In other words, children tend to copy the behaviour of their favourite personality or fictional character. Moreover, when little ones work and play in groups, they are influenced by their peers. Finally, other factors, like the media, prompt children to want things regarded as fashionable. For instance, children demand toys that they see on television. On the other hand, a child's personality is malleable at a very young age, and parents are always present in their life at this stage. Also, very young children love to imitate. For example, children who come from a dysfunctional family often exhibit behavioural problems at school. An emotionally secure environment at home is critical for the child's confidence. Moreover, parents also teach children about setting boundaries. In my opinion, children's choice of friends, books or music depends on the values instilled in them by their parents. Therefore, parents hold more substantial sway over their offspring than media, pop culture and friends circle. In conclusion, the outside world influences the intellectual and social development of children. However, I believe that it is parents who set the stage for these developments by laying a strong foundation from a very young age.
It is
often
held that teachers, peers and the media have a significant influence on the life of
children
. While
some
people
argue that these factors are predominant in shaping a child's future, others believe that
parents
impact their offspring in more critical ways. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in
favour
of the latter.

On the one hand, the books
children
read and the music they listen to form their belief system. In
other
words,
children
tend to copy the
behaviour
of their
favourite
personality or fictional character.
Moreover
, when
little
ones work and play in groups, they
are influenced
by their peers.
Finally
,
other
factors, like the media, prompt
children
to want things regarded as fashionable.
For instance
,
children
demand toys that they
see
on television.

On the
other
hand, a child's personality is malleable at a
very
young age, and
parents
are always present in their life at this stage.
Also
,
very
young
children
love
to imitate.
For example
,
children
who
come
from a dysfunctional family
often
exhibit
behavioural
problems at school. An
emotionally
secure environment at home is critical for the child's confidence.
Moreover
,
parents
also
teach
children
about setting boundaries.

In my opinion, children's choice of friends, books or music depends on the values instilled in them by their
parents
.
Therefore
,
parents
hold more substantial sway over their offspring than media, pop culture and friends circle.

In conclusion
, the outside world influences the intellectual and social development of
children
.
However
, I believe that it is
parents
who set the stage for these developments by laying a strong foundation from a
very
young age.
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IELTS essay It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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