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Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are problems and solutions .

Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are problems and solutions. GLrqj
It is irrefutable fact that every citizen run a mad race behind the money. A myraid of natives try to find balance between their job and life. It seems difficult for them to make their life easy and smooth. There are numerous problems and solutions of this concept. Now, I reflect a light on my views to analyse both perspective in forethcoming paragraphs. At first, there are multitudinous reasons of imbalance in life. The first and foremost is individual become workaholic and follow a sedentary lifestyle. In order to explain it, everyone want to fulfill their needs by earning handsome salary package. Therefore, they prefer to work for long hours instead of spending time with their families. Consequently, it wide a gap between their task and house. Another predominant reason is technology is flourish by leaps and bounds. So, people spend their leisure time in using their cell phones and watching videos and songs online. As a result, the bonding between their family become weak and their children become as an introvert owing to lack of communication with their parents. Nevertheless, every obstacles have solutions, similarly, it is possible to maintain balance between job and other aspects of life. Firstly, the workers should have to manage their time properly so that they can utilize it equally with their family members. Additionally, the authorities should have to fix flexible working hours for employees. Thus, they cannot do any part time jobs. As a consequence, they become able to take off from work and spend hours at home. Probing further, they should have to minimize the use of technical gadgets in spare time and utilise free periods with their juveniles. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that although, it is necessary to working for survive in life yet, family and other aspects are equally important to achieve happiness in life
It is irrefutable fact that every citizen run a mad race behind the money. A
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
of natives try to find balance between their job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It seems difficult for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy and smooth. There are numerous problems and solutions of this concept.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I reflect a light on my views to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspective in
Possible spelling mistake found.
forethcoming
paragraphs. At
first
, there are multitudinous reasons of imbalance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
first
and foremost is individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
workaholic and follow a sedentary lifestyle. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to fulfill their needs by earning handsome salary package.
Therefore
, they prefer to work for long hours
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Consequently
,
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
wide a gap between their task and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Another predominant reason is technology is flourish by leaps and bounds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in using their cell phones and watching videos and songs online.
As a result
, the bonding between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
weak and their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
as an introvert owing to lack of communication with their parents.
Nevertheless
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "obstacle"?
obstacles
have solutions,
similarly
, it is possible to maintain balance between job and other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, the workers should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can utilize it
equally
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Additionally
, the authorities should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
flexible working hours for employees.
Thus
, they cannot do any part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs. As a consequence, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
able to take off from work and spend hours at home. Probing
further
, they should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technical gadgets in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilise' and 'utilize') within a single text.
utilise
free periods with their juveniles. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that although, it is necessary to
Did you mean "work"?
working
for survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
yet
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and other aspects are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to achieve happiness in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are problems and solutions.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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