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Many people today use their mobile phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages?

Many people today use their mobile phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages? xwgw
Technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds as it provides as many avenues and keep us updated with the latest news and events. Number of people prefer text messaging as compared to face to face communication. Well, there are numerous factors behind it and I believe that this advancement is a positive development and has huge merits as compare to demerits. Pitching into the further area of discussion, the predominant causes for opting text messages over calls are the hectic life of the people To elaborate, individuals do not have enough time for their kith and kin because some people are as busy as bee in their work. Secondly, due to the advancements of various websites, people send messages through many social networking sites. For instance, whatsapp, instagram, facebook are using by many citizens. People love to send messages so that they can remain in touch with their near and dear ones.
Technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds as it provides as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
avenues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us updated with the latest news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer text messaging as compared
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "to face".
to face to face
communication. Well, there are numerous factors behind it and I believe that this advancement is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and has huge merits as compare to demerits. Pitching into the
further
area of discussion, the predominant causes for opting text messages over calls are the hectic life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
To elaborate, individuals do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for their kith and kin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are as busy as bee in their work.
Secondly
, due to the advancements of various websites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social networking sites.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
are using by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can remain in touch with their near and dear ones.
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IELTS essay Many people today use their mobile phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? Are there more advantages than disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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