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Many people today do not feel either at home or when they are out.what are the causes and what are the solutions.

Many people today do not feel either at home or when they are out. what are the causes and what are the solutions. Daonj
There is no shadow of doubt that people confronts various problems in their regular life and they always remain in fear. In the following paragraphs I address with its reasons before making its ramifications. Someone rightly said that there is no smoke without fire so there are enormous causative factors why people feel unsafe in their domestic and outside the World. The root cause is robbery cases inclining at cardinal rate. In modern era, every people have numerous needs and some people can not complete their needs and feel starving. So due to this many an individuals resorts the crime like they do heist for food, money and many more things from citizens home. So that it is a massive contributed factor for this issue.
There is no shadow of doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
confronts
various problems in their regular
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they always remain in fear. In the following paragraphs I address with its reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making its ramifications. Someone
rightly
said that there is no smoke without fire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are enormous causative factors why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel unsafe in their domestic and outside the World. The root cause is robbery cases inclining at cardinal rate. In modern era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have numerous needs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not complete their needs and feel starving.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an individual" or simply "individuals"?
an individuals
resorts the crime like they do heist for food, money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things from citizens home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that it is a
Make sure that the adjective 'massive' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'contributed'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
massive contributed
factor for this issue.
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IELTS essay Many people today do not feel either at home or when they are out. what are the causes and what are the solutions.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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