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Many people today choose to take part in (e.g. sky diving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?

Many people today choose to take part in (e. g. sky diving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport? wweq
Recent decades has seen a great climb in public attention? to action sports. Yet there are questions as to type of characteristics who join in such high risk sports and also the responsibility of the health protection of participants. I, personally, would argue that the primary feature in people’s personality which impels them to participate in such sports is the great need for fulfilling excessive excitement and its other effects on their spirits. Admittedly, such sports bring about plenty of pleasure and adrenaline to the sportsmen who risk to do them. This amount of adrenaline not only fulfills their need for boosting their self-confidence, but it also results in achieving a sense of accomplishment, both of which culminate in blissful pleasure. As a case in point, the people who try cliff diving, typically, overcome their fear of heights, moreover, they experience the freedom of free fall for seconds which contributes to a sense of achievement and making the person delighted. Undoubtedly, the major responsibility of these activities is with the people who attempt to do them, there are, however, some associations and groups who organize such exercises. To put it in other words, these associations can provide health insurance in case of injury, although it should not be encouraging people to these sports and it has to be only a way of helping people in different situations. By way of conclusion, I would contend that the people who seek more passion and enthusiasm in life are the major group of volunteers in high- risk sports. Given the fact that extreme sports should not be pulicized, the consequences-breaking bones, wounds and injury in general -should be related directly to doers rather than governments or other organizations, and insurance companies can only be an option in some dangerous cases.
Recent decades has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a great climb in public attention?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Yet
there are questions as to type of characteristics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in such high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
also
the responsibility of the health protection of participants. I,
personally
, would argue that the primary feature in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
personality which impels them to participate in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is the great need for fulfilling excessive excitement and its other effects on their spirits.

Admittedly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of pleasure and adrenaline to the sportsmen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
The verb 'risk' is used with the gerund form: "risk doing".
risk to do
them. This amount of adrenaline not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fulfills their need for boosting their self-confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
results in achieving a sense of accomplishment, both of which culminate in blissful pleasure. As a case in point, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
try cliff diving,
typically
, overcome their fear of heights,
moreover
, they experience the freedom of free fall for seconds which contributes to a sense of achievement and making the person delighted.

Undoubtedly
, the major responsibility of these activities is with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attempt to do them, there are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
associations and groups
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
organize such exercises. To put it
in other words
, these associations can provide health insurance in case of injury, although it should not be encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a way of helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations.

By way of conclusion, I would contend that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
seek more passion and enthusiasm in life are the major group of volunteers in high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the fact that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
pulicized
, the consequences-breaking bones, wounds and injury
in general
-should
be related
directly
to doers
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
or other organizations, and insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be an option in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
cases.

IELTS essay Many people today choose to take part in (e. g. sky diving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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