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Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples

Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples 0blO
Nowadays sports are more and more popular in the whole world. Some people prefer to watch live sports events in the stadium, whereas others are interested to watch on the television at their home. In my point of view I prefer to watch sports events on the television because at home we can watch it with our friends and family with relaxation. Firstly, most of the people go to the stadium to watch live sports events like cricket, football because they love to see their favourite sports persons and support them. This instills them happiness and team spirit. Watching a live event is an experience one will cherish for a long time. For example, in my country every year millions of people attend IPL cricket tournaments to motivate their sports idol and celebrate the success of their favorite team. On the other hand, most people prefer to watch on the television staying at their home because nowadays live tickets are more expensive and difficult to buy. This is mainly because it enables all the family members to unite and spend quality time with their loved ones. These days many people do not have time because of their busy schedule and travelling and ticket expenses can be avoided if we watch live athlete events in the comfort of our zone. For instance 70% of people prefer to watch sports on their television and smartphones because it is more comfortable and affordable. To recapitulate, watching live sports has many benefits, meanwhile in my opinion to watch sports on the television in our comfort zone is more economical and convenient.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more and more popular in the whole world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the stadium, whereas others
are interested
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
at their home. In my point of view I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at home we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it with our friends and family with relaxation.

Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the stadium to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like cricket, football
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
persons and support them. This instills them happiness and team spirit. Watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is an experience one will cherish for a long time.
For example
, in my country every year millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPL
cricket tournaments to motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
idol and celebrate the success of their favorite team.

On the other hand
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
staying at their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
tickets are more expensive and difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enables all the family members to unite and spend quality time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy schedule and travelling and ticket expenses can
be avoided
if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
athlete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the comfort of our zone.
For instance
70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and smartphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more comfortable and affordable.

To recapitulate, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, meanwhile in my opinion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in our comfort zone is more economical and convenient.
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IELTS essay Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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