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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Bkgj
Plethora of people opine that university students by perusing studies in the area of interests becomes passionate and brings the best out of them while, number of other people feel they must study futuristic and carrier oriented subjects like science and technology. However, I firmly believe that if allowed, undergraduates may outperform in their chosen field of study in comparison to the ones made force to choose future associated subjects. On one hand, pupil grow up passionate and confident about things which interests them as not only they indulges themselves grossly but also they get fond of it. Moreover, encouraging and supporting them to carry on with chosen area boosts their excitement to next level. Additionally, in this creative world, monetising modern art and skills is a new trend. So, skills can not only bring you money but also make your carrier. To illustrate, a sophomore out of interest participated in swimming competition and eventually ended up playing Olympics and Common wealth games representing his country. On the contrary, few parents push their children to opt for science and technological related subjects for the sake of future. Furthermore, teens suffer from the trauma of lectures and progresses without getting essence of the subject matter. While, few may end up getting placements, they drastically fall in their carrier as they are never satisfied with their jobs. For example, when a hater of biology ends up being a doctor, he may be charged for endangering lives by being irresponsible. Also, some may jeopardise their life if they don’t feel lively in what they do. To conclude, it will be best for students and society if undergraduates are allowed to study in their chosen field instead of forcing them or rather allowing them to only study science and technology as it may give them upper hand over others gradually.
Plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that university students by perusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in the area of interests becomes passionate and brings the best out of them while, number of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
futuristic and carrier oriented subjects like science and technology.
However
, I
firmly
believe that if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
, undergraduates may outperform in their chosen field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in comparison
to the ones made force to choose future associated subjects.

On one hand, pupil grow up passionate and confident about things which interests them as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "indulge"
indulges
themselves
grossly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fond of it.
Moreover
, encouraging and supporting them to carry on with chosen area boosts their excitement to
next
level.
Additionally
, in this creative world,
Possible spelling mistake. 'monetising' is British English.
monetising
modern art and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is a new trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring you money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your carrier. To illustrate, a sophomore out of interest participated in swimming competition and
eventually
ended up playing Olympics and Common wealth games representing his country.

On the contrary
, few parents push their children to opt for science and technological related subjects for the sake of future.
Furthermore
, teens suffer from the trauma of lectures and progresses without getting essence of the
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
. While,
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little may".
few may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up getting placements, they
drastically
fall in their carrier as they are never satisfied with their jobs.
For example
, when a hater of biology ends up being a doctor, he may
be charged
for endangering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by being irresponsible.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
Possible spelling mistake. 'jeopardise' is British English.
jeopardise
their life if they don’t feel lively in what they do.

To conclude
, it will be best for students and society if undergraduates are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in their chosen field
instead
of forcing them or
rather
allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
science and technology as it may give them upper hand over others
gradually
.

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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