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Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. wbMd
Many individuals are of the opinion of focusing on sending some species of animal into extinction while others think focusing more on the problems facing humans is of utmost importance. This essay shall discuss exhaustively both views and give an opinion on the underlying assertions. Focusing on the extinction of some animal species through deforestation and land reclamation provides an avenue for consumerism and aids to avail of enough space for human productive activities. Deforestation leads to the extinction of wildlife and the creation of habitat for humans as well as the provision of food and clothing. For instance, some clothes and footwear humans wear are being produced from the skin of animals through poaching. Also, medication for curing diseases prone to humans is created from some animals. The quest for the expansion of space, provision of food and clothing are the purpose for which extinction occurs. On the other hand, problems such as heightening level of poverty and disease are the major crisis of humans. Poverty and disease have caused an increasing level of mortality rate and should be properly looked upon rather than focusing on some frivolities. Statistics illustrate that over 81percent of people in the Sub-Saharan are dying out of poverty and disease following the contaminated water and malnutrition from their region as they are unable to provide themselves with drinkable water and good food. This essay believes that a major wake-up call should be more on focusing on eradicating poverty and disease. The onus is on the people and government to create awareness and schemes that would look further into solving human problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals are of the opinion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focusing
on sending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focusing
more on the problems facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is of utmost importance. This essay shall discuss
exhaustively
both views and give an opinion on the underlying assertions.

Focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species through deforestation and land reclamation provides an avenue for consumerism and aids to avail of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
productive activities. Deforestation leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of wildlife and the creation of habitat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
as well
as the provision of food and clothing.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clothes and footwear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
wear are
being produced
from the skin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
through poaching.
Also
, medication for curing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is created
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The quest for the expansion of space, provision of food and clothing are the purpose for which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
occurs.

On the other hand
, problems such as heightening level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
are the major crisis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
have caused an increasing level of mortality rate and should be
properly
looked upon
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focusing
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
frivolities. Statistics illustrate that over 81percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the Sub-Saharan are dying out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
following the contaminated water and malnutrition from their region as they are unable to provide themselves with drinkable water and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food.

This essay believes that a major wake-up call should be more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focusing
on eradicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. The onus is on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to create awareness and schemes that would look
further
into solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems
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IELTS essay Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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