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Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. 0RaG
In 2020, the fire outbreak in Australia burnt into extinction animals of a particular species. This event remains one to never forget in a very long time. More to worry about is the change in climate condition; which has consistently changed the dogmatic projections of scientists and astrologers around the world. Once upon a time there was the existence of dinosaurs which have now gone into extinctions and can only be related with in folktales and cartoon films by our children who often have endless imagination about the giant creature they can no longer find in any zoo. It is important to state that; as much as some people think that human beings should be of higher priority and less credence given to certain animals going into extinction, they both share one major thing in common and that's life. Many are of the opinion that, climate change is likely to run the human race into extiction if urgent measures are not put in place to protect the earth. For this category of people, they forget so soon that animals too live on earth and whatever change in the climate they are bothered about, animals are not left out. For example, The last two living northern white rhino's in existence happen to both be female as the last male died in March of 2018. Sudan, the 45-year old male was under armed guard at Kenya's Ol Pejeta Conservancy when he passed away from old age and an infection. The two females are also unable to give birth, making the likelihood of introducing a new generation of the species highly unlikely. The cause of their extinction is human oriented and this is as a result of poaching, and loss of habitat which also helped drive the rhino to the brink of extinction. In conclusion, so long as we value the continued existence of human beings, much more is expected to protect certain animals from further going into extinction. If human beings must stop eating such animals to protect them, they should stop.
In 2020, the fire outbreak in Australia burnt into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of a particular species. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
remains one to never forget in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time. More to worry about is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in climate condition; which has
consistently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the dogmatic projections of scientists and astrologers around the world.

Once upon a time there was the existence of dinosaurs which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
gone into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinctions
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be related
with in folktales and cartoon films by our children who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have endless imagination about the giant creature they can no longer find in any zoo. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to state that; as much as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings should be of higher priority and less credence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
going into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
, they both share one major thing in common and that's life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the opinion that, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is likely to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race into
Possible spelling mistake found.
extiction
if urgent measures are not put in place to protect the earth. For this category of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they forget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on earth and whatever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the climate they
are bothered
about,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out.
For example
, The last two living northern white
Possible agreement error. The noun 'rhino' seems to be countable, so consider using: "rhinos".
rhino
's in existence happen to both be female as the last male
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in
When specifying a month and year, 'of' is unnecessary: "March 2018".
March of 2018
. Sudan, the 45-year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
male was under armed guard at Kenya's
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ol
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pejeta
Conservancy when he passed away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age and an infection.

The two females are
also
unable to give birth, making the likelihood of introducing a new generation of the species
highly
unlikely.

The cause of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
oriented and this is
as a result
of poaching, and loss of habitat which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
drive the rhino to the brink of extinction.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long as we value the continued existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, much more is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to protect certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from
further
going into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
eating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to protect them, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.
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IELTS essay Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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