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Write about the following topic: Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

: Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. mp51
It could be a better idea for schools to educate all teenagers about how to became a good parent are thought by most person, as because it’s a important part of life, being a human being and I totally agree with the statement. According to my personal view to become a good parent, one must be caring, as the cycle of parenting starts, caring starts, being a new mother ladies always require his partner to care about her, as lots of thing happens with her and a lot of changes took around, which should be detailed with proper love and care. Secondly being patience is most important, as first time becoming a parent while working is really toughest part of life, after coming tried to home for a busy day, again need to get stared at home too, as mother caring the baby in womb cannot also do much of her work as she can previously, so need to be patient and finish up the work in home too is necessary As I remember when we became parents, for me to be patience was not so easy as our baby wakes up when we where about to sleep after hectic work schedule and another busy day was ahead, but in the middle to the night both us to keep on fighting, that how is going to make the baby sleep in the lap as she woke up and started crying. Schools shall teach this vital part of life to be a decent parent, so at the time when I becomes a parent, at least the basic requirement is know by every citizens of the people. even though it is a difficult part, I loved it to be a good father
It could be a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for schools to educate all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
about how
Did you mean "to become"?
to became
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by most person, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of life, being a human being and I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

According to my personal view to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be caring, as the cycle of parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
, caring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
, being a new mother ladies always require his partner to care about her, as
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of things".
lots of thing
happens
The verb 'happen' usually requires the preposition "to".
with
her and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
took around, which should
be detailed
with proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care.

Secondly
being patience is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, as
first
time becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
while working is
really
A determiner is probably missing here: "the toughest".
toughest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of life, after coming tried to home for a busy day, again need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stared at home too, as mother caring the baby in womb cannot
also
do much of her work as she can previously,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
need to be patient and finish up the work in home too is necessary

As I remember when we became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, for me to be patience was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy as our baby wakes up when we
Did you mean "were", the simple past of "to be"?
where
about to sleep after hectic work schedule and another busy day was ahead,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the middle to the night both us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on fighting, that how is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the baby sleep in the lap as she woke up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
crying.

Schools shall teach this vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of life to be a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at the time when I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "become"
becomes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, at least the basic requirement is know by every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "citizen"?
citizens
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
though it is a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
it to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
father
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IELTS essay : Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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