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Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. Anre
Protection of lives is of utmost importance at all times and should not be taken for granted. As such the notion that certain animals species be extinct should not be overlooked in this regard. Therefore, the thought of paying attention to the problems of human beings is indeed necessary due to numerous human wants. This essay will dwell on both developments and conclude with the most suitable in my opinion. Focusing on the extinction of certain animal species takes several ways as it happens when environmental factors or evolutionary problems cause species to die out. The disappearance of species from earth varies on the reasons applicable to the extinction of such animal. To some extent, extinction is natural, also the changes to habitats and as well as poor reproductive trends. Which are among the factors that can make a species’ death rate higher than its birth rate. Humans also cause other species to become extinct by hunting and overharvesting them. This ways are necessary when certain species are cruel to the environment, hence the option of reducing or wiping them off. On the other hand, every living thing plays a role in the food chain and earth’s ecosystems, and the extinction of certain species, whether predators or prey, can leave behind significant impacts. Furthermore, paying attention to the problems of human beings cannot be overlooked as the protection of health is much greater. Human problems are numerous but it doesn’t get to us until we feel a major impact, and that is when it becomes a source of concern. One of such problems is the financial crisis, as we live in an uncertain world and a financial crisis may come at different stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a financial crisis, it may still catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years. And the solution to this crisis is simply having to come to terms with the crisis by acknowledging and accepting the situation and begin recovery by setting your financial priorities right. In conclusion, both opinions are suitable as they are necessary for our existence. Therefore with the above mentioned scenarios, I am of the opinion that attention should be on the problems of human beings as they are numerous considering the implications to the health.
Protection of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is of utmost importance at all times and should not
be taken
for granted.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
such the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
animals species be extinct should not
be overlooked
in this regard.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of paying attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings is
indeed
necessary due to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
wants. This essay will dwell on both developments and conclude with the most suitable in my opinion.

Focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
animal species takes several ways as it happens when environmental factors or evolutionary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
cause species to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out. The disappearance of species from earth varies on the reasons applicable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of such animal. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
is natural,
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to habitats and
as well
as poor reproductive trends.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
are among the factors that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a species’ death rate higher than its birth rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
also
cause other species to become extinct by hunting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
overharvesting
them.
Did you mean "these"?
This
ways are necessary when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
species are cruel to the environment,
hence
the option of reducing or wiping them off.
On the other hand
, every living thing plays a role in the food chain and earth’s ecosystems, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
species, whether predators or prey, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind significant impacts.

Furthermore
, paying attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings cannot
be overlooked
as the protection of health is much greater.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to us until we feel a major impact, and
that is
when it becomes a source of concern. One of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crisis
, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an uncertain world and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crisis
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of life. While you should always anticipate and prepare for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crisis
, it may
still
catch you off guard or the magnitude may be far more than any preparation you have made over the years. And the solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crisis
is
simply
having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to terms with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crisis
by acknowledging and accepting the situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
recovery by setting your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
priorities right.

In conclusion
, both opinions are suitable as they are necessary for our existence.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
with the above mentioned scenarios, I am of the opinion that attention should be on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings as they are numerous considering the implications to the health.
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IELTS essay Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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