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many people think that we should protect animals do you agree or disagree

many people think that we should protect animals g5Lbd
Animals play a crucial role to maintain the ecological balance of our environment. Majority of people have stepped forward to protect the animals from unacceptable and ill-treatment, so I believe that there are two major concerns to look at; firstly, animal testing and secondly, animal consumption. Therefore, this essay shall enlighten both these views. To begin with, the primary reason why people are concerned is the testing on animals which is considered to be an abusive treatment towards these living creatures. For instance, a plethora of medicines and cosmetics have to undergo animal testing in order to provide it to people. Thus, zoophilists are running a campaign to secure them from this brutal behaviour, so that they can equally survive without any torture. Furthermore, animal slaughter is another area of concern. The industries in order to make money kill the animals for food. Thus, in order to safeguard the animals from their consumption in sustenance, a lot of people are getting converted into vegan. Although the percentage is very low, the awareness is exorbitant, especially among the young generation. According to them, these living entities have equal rights to live on this planet by their own choice rather than being hunted by some people for food or fun. To conclude, killing animals for experiment, nourishment or hunting for blood sports is truly a non-tolerable act. Although some people do not agree, we should not forget that they are equivalent. Therefore, the Government must implement a few laws on animal rights and welfare.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
play a crucial role to maintain the ecological balance of our environment. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have stepped forward to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from unacceptable and ill-treatment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe that there are two major concerns to look at;
firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
testing and
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
consumption.
Therefore
, this essay shall enlighten both these views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the primary reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
is the testing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which
is considered
to be an abusive treatment towards these living creatures.
For instance
, a plethora of medicines and cosmetics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
testing in order to provide it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
zoophilists
are running a campaign to secure them from this brutal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
equally
survive without any torture.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
slaughter is another area of concern. The industries in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for food.
Thus
, in order to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from their consumption in sustenance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting converted into vegan. Although the percentage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low, the awareness is exorbitant,
especially
among the young generation. According to them, these living entities have equal rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on this planet by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice
rather
than
being hunted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for food or fun.

To conclude
, killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for experiment, nourishment or hunting for blood sports is
truly
a non-tolerable act. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, we should not forget that they are equivalent.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement a few laws on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights and welfare.
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IELTS essay many people think that we should protect animals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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