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Some say that big sporting events, such as the Olympic Games are waste of money and resources. Do you agree or disagree

Some say that big sporting events, such as the Olympic Games are waste of money and resources. n6GEK
With the advancement in digitisation and technology, sports tournaments such as the Olympics, commonwealth games etc. have become very popular these days. However, people are distributed over the issue of usage of excessive capital and resources over these events. I believe, these events bring the nations together and help in raising the status of the province among others. In this essay, I will elucidate why these events are important in detail. To being with, sports gives opportunities to repair and nurture the distorted ties among nations. Sports brings multiple nations under a single umbrella and spectators from distinct countries watch and enjoy with great spirit the live games together. They cheer for their favourite sportsperson ignoring the confrontations among their countries. For example, in the Commonwealth game 2010, held in India, both Indians and Pakistanis enjoyed the Hockey match held between two nations irrespective of the relationships between duo nations. Hence, such events provide a platform to know one another in a better way which contributes to replenishing the acrimonious bond. So, spending money and resources on such tournaments is better than spending on wars. Secondly, the medals won by the country brings respect and high status for it in the world. The fund used up in training the sportsperson, representing the nation at an international level, turns fruitful as the tally of medals in the league increases. This not only boosts the motivation of the player but also of the country to prepare more and more participants for the next games. For instance, when Mary Kom, boxing player from the small village of India, won the Gold medal, gave recognition to India as land who promotes and galvanise young talent. In addition to this, after this, other countries starting beholding India with a great sense of admiration which is again more valuable than any sort of money in this world. To conclude, I recapitulate that sporting activities are important for improving national ties and to earn a status quo in this world.
With the advancement in
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitisation' is British English.
digitisation
and technology, sports tournaments such as the Olympics, commonwealth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
etc. have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular these days.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are distributed
over the issue of usage of excessive capital and resources over these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. I believe, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in raising the status of the province among others. In this essay, I will elucidate why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in detail.

To
Did you mean "begin"?
being
with, sports gives opportunities to repair and nurture the distorted ties among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "sport brings".
Sports brings
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
under a single umbrella and spectators from distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and enjoy with great spirit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
together. They cheer for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sportsperson ignoring the confrontations among their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in the Commonwealth game 2010, held in India, both Indians and Pakistanis enjoyed the Hockey match held between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
irrespective of the relationships between duo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Hence
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
provide a platform to know one another in a better way which contributes to replenishing the acrimonious bond.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, spending money and resources on such tournaments is better than spending on wars.

Secondly
, the medals won by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
brings respect and high status for it in the world. The fund
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up in training the sportsperson, representing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
at an international level, turns fruitful as the tally of medals in the league increases. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boosts the motivation of the player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to prepare more and more participants for the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For instance
, when Mary
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kom
, boxing player from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village of India, won the Gold medal, gave recognition to India as land who promotes and
Possible spelling mistake. 'galvanise' is British English.
galvanise
young talent.
In addition
to this, after this, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
starting beholding India with a great sense of admiration which is again more valuable than any sort of money in this world.

To conclude
, I recapitulate that sporting activities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for improving national ties and to earn a status quo in this world.
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IELTS essay Some say that big sporting events, such as the Olympic Games are waste of money and resources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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