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Many people think that there should be a law against kids coming out of their house after dark. Explain both views and give your opinion.

Many people think that there should be a law against kids coming out of their house after dark. Explain both views and give your opinion. AjGVx
There is no doubt that the crimes against children have increased nowadays. While many believe that there should be strict laws against children going out after dark to tackle the crime rate, in my opinion, only making this illegal won't be enough. Firstly, enforcing such curfew hours for children can be the first step towards their safety. If parents and their kids both know that they would be penalized heavily in case they flout the rules, there are higher chances that the law would be taken seriously. As criminals are nowadays targeting young people as they are easier to manipulate, it is the need of the hour. For example, we see newspapers these days published at least one missing child report everyday along with sexual abuse and other heinous crimes against youngsters. Therefore, rather than doing nothing and waiting for the crime to happen and then take steps, the authorities should try to prevent this altogether. However, if teenagers are not allowed to go out after dark, they might not gain enough experience to handle crimes when they grow older. For instance, a child who has gone out and has mixed with various kinds of people tends to be more aware of the situation and often able to predict the intention of a person better than someone who never has mixed with the outside world. Hence, completely banishing them from venturing out can have more negative effects than positive. They might be well protected till 18, but would not be mature enough to handle any potential risk even after being an adult. Thus, there are disadvantages associated with such a strict law as well. In conclusion, according to me, the government must be more active and vigilant after dark rather than forbidding a certain group of citizens to go out of their house. Even though the law can be effective initially, it is going to have a long term detrimental effect on the kids, which might be the reason for increased crime rate in the future.
There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
against children have increased nowadays. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that there should be strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
against children going out after dark to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
making this illegal won't be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Firstly
, enforcing such curfew hours for children can be the
first
step towards their safety. If parents and their kids both know that they would
be penalized
heavily
in case they flout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, there are higher chances that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
would
be taken
seriously
. As criminals are nowadays targeting young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they are easier to manipulate, it is the need of the hour.
For example
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
newspapers these days published at least one missing child report
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
along with sexual abuse and other heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
against youngsters.
Therefore
,
rather
than doing nothing and waiting for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to happen and then take steps, the authorities should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this altogether.

However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out after dark, they might not gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
when they grow older.
For instance
, a child who has gone out and has mixed with various kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tends to be more aware of the situation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
able to predict the intention of a person better than someone who never has mixed with the outside world.
Hence
, completely banishing them from venturing out can have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. They might be well protected till 18,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would not be mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle any potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
even after being an adult.
Thus
, there are disadvantages associated with such a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
as well
.

In conclusion
, according to me, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more active and vigilant after dark
rather
than forbidding a certain group of citizens to go out of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
can be effective
initially
, it is going to have a long term detrimental effect on the kids, which might be the reason for increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in the future.
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IELTS essay Many people think that there should be a law against kids coming out of their house after dark. Explain both views and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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