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Many people think that their country is being damaged by immigrants. Others instead, believe that immigration is a positive phenomenon. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people think that their country is being damaged by immigrants. Others instead, believe that immigration is a positive phenomenon. 7JaK3
There are different views by the people of a country concerning the immigration system. Some views can reflect the positive side and others might reflect the negative portion. Further in this essay, I would discuss both reflections and my opinions on both. Firstly, if we consider why many native citizens of the country have a negative view is because as the number of immigrants is more in a country, it develops the multicultural environment, which somehow fades the original culture of the country. Moreover, due to immigrants in the country, the competition for good jobs is divided among the immigrants and citizens of the country, which develops a negative vision among the people of the country that their jobs are being suffered due to immigrants. Secondly, Immigration does bring development to a country in several ways. When immigrants are welcomed in a country, not all need to get employment, some well-settled people look for investment in a country that generates employment opportunities for all people in the country. Further, due to immigrants, people enjoy the multi-cultural environment, they get to celebrate different cultural festivals creating a joyful living. I believe that immigration has a positive effect on a country. For instance, Canada is well known for its immigration procedures and here in this country, many people from different countries are residing here due to which, its happening place to live. Here there are many different opportunities to grow, either in terms of employment, food, fests, etc. In a nutshell, we can conclude that immigrants in a country has far more of positive side in contrast to negative affect.
There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a
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country
concerning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
views can reflect the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
might reflect the
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negative
portion.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
in this essay, I would discuss both reflections and my opinions on both.

Firstly
, if we consider why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
native citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
view is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
is more in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it develops the multicultural environment, which somehow fades the original culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the competition for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs
is divided
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
and citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which develops a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
vision among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that their jobs are
being suffered
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due
to immigrants.

Secondly
,
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Immigration
does bring development to a
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country
in several ways. When
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immigrants
are welcomed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, not all need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
well-settled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for investment in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that generates employment opportunities for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Further
,
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due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the multi-cultural environment, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultural festivals creating a joyful living.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, Canada is well known for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
procedures and here in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are residing here
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which, its happening place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Here there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opportunities to grow, either in terms of employment, food, fests, etc.

In a nutshell, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has far more of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side
in contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
affect.
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IELTS essay Many people think that their country is being damaged by immigrants. Others instead, believe that immigration is a positive phenomenon.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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