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Many people think that money promotes happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness?

Many people think that money promotes happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness? PVENK
A growing world of materialization has increased the value of money, which is escalating the level of happiness among many people. In my own perspective, there are several external and internal factors which promote it. On the one hand, a huge bank balance can make people buy the things which relate to their excitement. For instance, an elegant house, luxurious holidays, branded clothes, expensive cars and gadgets can be bought with the money. In fact, some feel proud and happy by showcasing their wealth and property to their families, friends and neighbours because this gives them a feeling of superiority over others. However, there are some examples of the famous personalities who live with the loneliness, isolation, depression, and even commit suicide despite owning a large amount of fortune. On the other hand, the happiness is considered as a state of mind and inner peace. It does not lie in the materialism for some people instead in their family and daily surroundings. For instance, sharing a strong family bond of unity and harmony gives them emotional fulfilment. Secondly, having a good health and healthy family members free from serious ailments like cancer keeps a person smiling. Thirdly, having a clean, respectful image in the society and at the workplace boosts their self confidence and hence, makes them delighted. Fourthly, for some having green surroundings can reduce their stress, and even playing with a pet elates their joy level. Hence, this wholesome explains that the cheerfulness can be generated through different scenarios by different methods for many individuals. To recapitulate, the money can’t buy happiness if it could then all the rich persons on the earth must be elated and contented.
A growing world of materialization has increased the value of money, which is escalating the level of happiness among
many
people
. In my
own
perspective, there are several external and internal factors which promote it.

On the one hand, a huge bank balance can
make
people
buy
the things which relate to their excitement.
For instance
, an elegant
house
, luxurious holidays, branded clothes, expensive cars and gadgets can be
bought
with the money. In fact,
some
feel proud and happy by showcasing their wealth and property to their
families
, friends and
neighbours
because
this gives them a feeling of superiority over others.
However
, there are
some
examples of the
famous
personalities who
live
with the loneliness, isolation, depression, and even commit suicide despite owning a large amount of fortune.

On the other hand
, the happiness
is considered
as a state of mind and inner peace. It does not lie in the materialism for
some
people
instead
in their
family
and daily surroundings.
For instance
, sharing a strong
family
bond of unity and harmony gives them emotional
fulfilment
.
Secondly
, having a
good
health and healthy
family
members free from serious ailments like cancer
keeps
a person smiling.
Thirdly
, having a clean, respectful image in the society and at the workplace boosts their
self confidence
and
hence
,
makes
them delighted.
Fourthly
, for
some
having green surroundings can
reduce
their
stress
, and even playing with a pet elates their joy level.
Hence
, this wholesome
explains
that the cheerfulness can
be generated
through
different
scenarios by
different
methods for
many
individuals.

To recapitulate, the money can’t
buy
happiness if it could then all the rich persons on the earth
must
be elated
and contented.
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IELTS essay Many people think that money promotes happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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