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Many people think that children in the modern time are not really interested in visiting museums. What are the main reasons for this case? What needs to be done to deal with this issue?

Many people think that children in the modern time are not really interested in visiting museums. What are the main reasons for this case? What needs to be done to deal with this issue? nEdMn
In the modern age, museums seem to become vaguer among children. However, those places can be seen as useful destinations to cultivate children’s education. This essay would like to look into some of the causes and give possible solutions. To begin with, there are several reasons that make children no longer interested in museums anymore. One thing that is of great significance is the strong development of the information technology industry, especially the Internet. A huge amount of information about history, art, . . . can easily be found on the Internet without going directly to museums. Another special consideration in this case is that in some museums, the material facilities are becoming degraded. Children are often attracted to colorful, charming, stunning, . . . things, so those old and degraded stuff in the museums are definitely not one of them. Last but not least, the historical information that museums bring about seem to be a little bit dry and boring to children so they often don’t really enjoy their time when visiting these places. However, there is no doubt that museums bring about plenty of useful knowledge for children if they enjoy these places. Therefore, there should be some solutions that need to be done to deal with this issue. First and foremost, children should be encouraged to visit museums by schools and parents. Schools can try to raise children’s interest with museums by organizing some extracurricular activities so children can enjoy the museums with their friends, which can be much funnier than going to the museums alone. Secondly, after a trip to museums, children should be given some reports or assignments about how they feel when visiting the museums, what they’ve learnt from there, . . . in order to help them focus more on their lessons at the museums. Lastly, there should be some reconstructions in museums with such new technology as projection, digital, … to catch up with the trend of the times. From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that if no reaction is taken, it is likely that museums may become more and more vaguer in the future among children.
In the modern age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
seem to become vaguer among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, those places can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as useful destinations to cultivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education. This essay would like to look into
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes and give possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
no longer interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
anymore. One thing
that is
of great significance is the strong development of the information technology industry,
especially
the Internet. A huge amount of information about history, art
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can
easily
be found
on the Internet without going
directly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. Another special consideration
in this case
is that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, the material facilities are becoming degraded.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attracted to colorful, charming, stunning
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
things
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and degraded stuff in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are definitely not one of them. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the historical information that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
bring about seem to be a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
dry and boring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
don’t
really
enjoy their time when visiting these places.

However
, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of useful knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they enjoy these places.
Therefore
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions that need to
be done
to deal with this issue.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
by schools and parents. Schools can try to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
interest with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
by organizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extracurricular activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with their friends, which can be much funnier than going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
alone.
Secondly
, after a trip to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reports or assignments about how they feel when visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, what they’ve
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from there
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them focus more on their lessons at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
Lastly
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reconstructions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
with such new technology as projection, digital, … to catch up with the trend of the times.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may draw the conclusion that if no reaction
is taken
, it is likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
may become more and
Use only "vaguer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more vaguer
in the future among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that children in the modern time are not really interested in visiting museums. What are the main reasons for this case? What needs to be done to deal with this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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