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Many people think that banning cell phones in public places would curtail their personal freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that banning cell phones in public places would curtail their personal freedom. pbQm2
Cutting-edge technology is a part of daily life. One of the most important technologies which engage with people's activity are mobile phones. People are getting become addicted to this kind of equipment. So, government think that a ban should be imposed for cell phones. However, some people think that prohibiting mobile phones in public areas will thwart their personal freedom. I agree with this statement for several reasons. The first reason is that as it would be irresponsible to ban mobile phone use. As public phone booths seems to be on the verge of extinction, people will not be free when it comes to utilize their phones when they needed it especially in the case of emergency as well as in other challenging situations. But mobile phones save lives as emergency services can easily locate people when they call. The second reason is that as not allowing to use mobile phones in public areas is not a good solution in many perspectives. Instead of imposing a ban, it would be more practical to have designated areas for cell phone users till they learn how to use them properly in public areas because cell phones are relatively invention which take a lot of time to learn utilizing correctly in areas which open to the public. On the other hand, mobile phones can be used to take photos and videos and so violate other people's privacy. Bad intended people do this action deliberately even sometimes they demand a plenty of money from victims to delete them. However, nowadays government uses CCTV cameras which tackle successfully this kind of security problems. In conclusion, I consider that banning mobile phones in public areas constraints people's freedom by thwarting them to call their close ones when they needed or to make a emergency call and not allowing them to learn to use them in such kind of areas.
Cutting-edge technology is a part of daily life. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
technologies which engage with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's activity are mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are getting become addicted to this kind of equipment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a ban should
be imposed
for cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that prohibiting mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will thwart their personal freedom. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement for several reasons. The
first
reason is that as it would be irresponsible to ban mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
booths seems to be on the verge of extinction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not be free when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
when they needed it
especially
in the case of emergency
as well
as in other challenging situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as emergency services can
easily
locate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they call. The second reason is that as not allowing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
perspectives.
Instead
of imposing a ban, it would be more practical to have designated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
users till they learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
properly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
relatively
invention which take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to utilize".
utilizing
correctly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which open to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
On the other hand
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take photos and videos and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
violate other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's privacy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Bad
intended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do this action
deliberately
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they demand a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money from victims to delete them.
However
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
CCTV cameras which tackle
successfully
this kind of security problems.
In conclusion
, I consider that banning mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
constraints
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's freedom by thwarting them to call their close ones when they needed or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
emergency call and not allowing them to learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that banning cell phones in public places would curtail their personal freedom.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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