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Many people think one should never make a big decision all by oneself. Agree or disagree?

Many people think one should never make a big decision all by oneself. Agree or disagree? 3xNjl
There comes a time in the life of any person when he has to take a big step and for taking a good decision they might need a help of their well-wishers. Because making an important decision alone can bring many negative aspects. Also it will affect on family and sometime it may destroy someone’s life. And so, I agree with this statement. First of all, it depend on individual opinion in making decision by their own, if a person is too independent he can take big step on his own risk. Whereas, if a person received advice from others before making a decision than it may make a good consequences. For instance, if parents make decision behalf of their children about studies, jobs, and for some other things and it would come out in good results. Another reason is, there are different fields of experience of life, and a person elder than him can suffered from that situation so he can guide and help to make a decision. For example, if 12th pass out student get confuse and not able to select an appropriate college for his further studies, then he can take guidance from his senior and he will guide that student to make good decision for his career. In short, making small decision by own is acceptable and not risky. But it is good to take advice from other want it come to make big decision in life. As per me thinking no one else will give good advice as our parents will give.
There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
a time in the
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life
of any
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person
when he
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has to
take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
step and for taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
they might need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their well-wishers.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
making an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
alone can bring
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many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it will
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on family and sometime it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
Did you mean "depends"?
depend
on individual opinion in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, if a
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person
is too independent he can take
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big
step on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Whereas, if a
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person
received advice from others
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before
making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
than it may
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make
a
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good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "consequence"?
consequences
.
For instance
, if parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
behalf of their children about studies, jobs, and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other things and it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
results.

Another reason is, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
elder than him can suffered from that situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can guide and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
For example
, if 12th pass out student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confuse and not able to select an appropriate college for his
further
studies, then he can take guidance from his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
senior and
he will guide that student to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for his career.

In short, making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
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decision
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is acceptable and not risky.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to take advice from other want it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As per me thinking no one else will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
advice as our parents will give.
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IELTS essay Many people think one should never make a big decision all by oneself. Agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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