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Many people think family is more important that friend and other loved ones.

Many people think family is more important that friend and other loved ones. aE53G
Many people think family is more important that friend and other loved ones. Its claimed that make friend with other people is good. Personally although in our life we need a family but we should be friend with the world around us To begin with I think everyone want to get support and motivation from family because in our life we have a good and bad day sometimes we a problems. Furthemore if we have a problem with school and job or other persons in life, our parents always in our side they help us and give the right solution for our problems. To illustrate if we sick our parent help to get well and buy a lot of pills for us and watching all day. Last but not least our parent help to build our future, they pay for our additional lessons a lot of money. One the other hand if we have a lot of good friend in your life, they can help us in difficult situation when parent must don’t know and our friend help to develop our world around us and develop yourself. For example if we have friend in other countries or national people. Furthemore when we want to flay in foreign countries if there live our friend they can help to live there and can show attractions. To conclude in our life friends are important as family. And every one have your place in our life. The most important thing is choose the good friend and don’t do against your family and always protect them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Its claimed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
.
Personally
although in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should be
Did you mean "friended"?
friend
with the world around us

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support and motivation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a problem" or simply "problems"?
a problems
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
if we have a problem with school and job or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
persons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always in our side they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us and give the right solution for our problems. To illustrate if we sick our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pills for us and watching all day. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to build our future, they pay for our additional lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand if we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us in difficult situation when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
don’t know and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to develop our world around us and develop yourself.
For example
if we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries or national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
when we want to flay in foreign countries if there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
attractions.

To conclude
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. And every one have your place in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and don’t do against your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and always protect
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them
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IELTS essay Many people think family is more important that friend and other loved ones.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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