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Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings other think that is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Celebration of events and activities play a vital role in human lives as it has people to stay connected however many individuals and excessive was on events like a birthdays and weddings anniversaries where is other people think that it is a worthless to spend a lot of money on these functions this essay will discuss the both perspective s and argue why spending large sums of money on this events is not necessary. Many masses argue that it is worth to spend money on it for several reasons. To begin with, events like birthdays and marriages are happen only few times in life time, though it is necessary to spend on it. For instance, marriages can be only done for once in a lifetime. Thus, people want to hold this memory for lifetime and recall it when they need to make a happy moments. Secondly, they can show their wealth status by using this platform. For example, in many big ceremonies people show the fashionable clothes jewelleries and make other people look down. They do so not only because that they want attention from other people but they also love when people give them a beautiful compliments about organizing functions, clothes and foods. On the other hand, other people state that spending a lot of money on the functions are unnecessary and worthless. According to them by doing this people are wasting valuable wealth material and other necessity like a food and electricity. Instead of wasting their income into parties they should donate to the needy people or the old age houses. Thus, those who are suffering from starvation have not to suffer any more. Moreover, if these events really mean for creating memories they can organise a small parties at their homes and invite their close friends and relatives. This way they can enjoy and spend a time together. Hence, because of all this reasons one third of people are against of celebrating such events which invest a large sums of money. To conclude, I believe that birthdays and other moments are too special and valuable for our lives, but recalling it by organizing a large celebration is not the way. Instead of doing this people sholud save the money and invest it into other places.
Celebration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and activities play a vital role in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay connected
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals and excessive was on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like a birthdays and weddings anniversaries where is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a worthless to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these functions this essay will discuss the both perspective s and argue why spending large sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘events’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is not necessary.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
masses argue that it is worth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it for several reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like birthdays and marriages are
Consider using either the past participle “happened” or the present participle “happening” here.
happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few times in
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life time
, though it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on it.
For instance
, marriages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
done for once in a lifetime.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to hold this memory for lifetime and recall it when they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
The plural noun “moments” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a happy moment” or “happy moments”?
a happy moments
.

Secondly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their wealth status by using this platform.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
ceremonies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the fashionable clothes
Possible spelling mistake found.
jewelleries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look down. They do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that they want attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
compliments about organizing functions, clothes and foods.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the functions are unnecessary and worthless. According to them by doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are wasting valuable wealth material and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessity like a food and electricity.
Instead
of wasting their income into parties they should donate to the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Thus
, those who are suffering from starvation have not to suffer
Did you mean the adverb “anymore”?
any more
.
Moreover
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
really
mean for creating memories they can
Do not mix variants of the same word (‘organise’ and ‘organize’) within a single text.
organise
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
parties at their homes and invite their close friends and relatives. This way they can enjoy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a time together.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all this reasons one third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are against of celebrating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which invest
The plural noun “sums” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a large sum” or “large sums”?
a large sums
of money.

To conclude
, I believe that birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
moments are too special and valuable for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
recalling it by organizing a large celebration is not the way.
Instead
of doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
sholud
save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and invest it into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places.
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IELTS essay Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings other think that is unnecessary to spend so much on these events.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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