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Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far with the above views? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. WdgW
Nowadays, in the fast paced world and globalization, the available vacancy required a proven certain skills and experiences in order to fulfil company’s targets and interest. Hence, for many applicants, especially the millennials, they will find it very challenging because many competitors are have enormous valuable skills and experiences that compete with them to get a settle job. Some believe that having an education will be very merit to have a convincing job to support their career path. Simply put, the good grades may giving additional point to measure how university college perceiving concepts, process of thinking and bearing responsibilities where all those thing can be summarized as their later performance in workplace. I personally agree with this idea without no doubt. I can assuming that people would likely have a bigger chance to have a good job because their education background that shape the way they think and overcome obstacle and critical thinking To my perspective, those who undergo an university education may have a solid resilience to day to day challenges. Reversely, some people argued that people who have more experience without going to university education are more convincing, because they are creative, flexible and provlem solver, they also might be believe that theory without any practical experience is nothing. There is a common concept in the society that well-known related to this, that we cannot driving a car from understanding the theory alone, because it is required practical experiences, thus people who learn from the experiences may potentially known better than the one without any experience. Despite, I may disagree with this statement. In fact, people who have a settle life with a good job with experience only may success but have a lower chance to it, for instance, musician, business man, writer and many more. To take this idea in general to many people seems impossible to what I believe, because it may only works to certain people. Thus spreading this statement will damaging eventually to many more people. Last, in order to have a better living with a good job needs effort and bunch of courage and time. To get ourselves closer to the success and bigger opportunity, it may have both ideas and likely cannot be separated.
Nowadays, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world and globalization, the available vacancy required a proven certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in order to fulfil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s targets and interest.
Hence
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applicants,
especially
the millennials, they will find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
competitors are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
enormous valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that compete with them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a settle job.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
merit to have a convincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to support their career path.
Simply
put, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grades may giving additional point to measure how university college perceiving concepts, process of thinking and bearing responsibilities where all
Did you mean "this thing" or "those things"?
those thing
can
be summarized
as their later performance in workplace. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
without no doubt. I can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "assume"
assuming
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would likely have a bigger chance to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
background that shape the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and overcome obstacle and critical thinking To my perspective, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
undergo
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may have a solid resilience
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "to day".
to day to day
challenges.

Reversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
without going to university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are more convincing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are creative, flexible and
Possible spelling mistake found.
provlem
solver, they
also
might be
Consider using the past participle "believed"?
believe
that theory without any practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is nothing. There is a common concept in the society that well-known related to this, that we cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "drive"
driving
a car from understanding the theory alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is required
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
may
potentially
known better than the one without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Despite, I may disagree with this statement. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a settle life with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
may success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a lower chance to it,
for instance
, musician, business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, writer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. To take this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in general
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
seems
impossible to what I believe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
works to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
spreading this statement will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "damage"
damaging
eventually
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Last, in order to have a better living with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
needs effort and
It seems that an article is missing.
bunch of
courage and time. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ourselves closer to the success and bigger opportunity, it may have both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and likely cannot
be separated
.
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IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far with the above views? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words