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Many people say extreme sports are very dangerous and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people say extreme sports are very dangerous and should be banned. 7rMbk
In many parts of the world, there have been a growing number of the population who are concerned about extreme sports. It is generally believed that extreme sports are not safe and it should be prohibited. This essay attempts to prove that this viewpoint is unconvincing to a certain extent. It is generally accepted that adventure sports should be forbidden. This is understandable due to the fact that these kinds of sports might cause injuries, even potentially lethal results, for individuals who take part in these sports. However, my personal viewpoint is not completely in agreement with this argument because adventure sports is a creation that needs clear instructions, detailed training and provides protective equipment to ensure that accidents are minimised. To illustrate, people who take part in skydiving need training by coaches within a certain period of time, and they should be equipped with protective gear before doing the actual experiment. From my perspective, I would say that extreme sports should not be banned, we should encourage and promote these kinds of activities to a wider audience. The underlying reason is that participants have the freedom to select the types of sports they wish to participate in during their leisure times. Additionally, adventure sports produce more thrill and unforgettable experiences than other sports, thereby encouraging players to face and overcome their fears in these activities. For instance, individuals who try to climb the mountain can get a sense of victory after they have traveled a long distance and encountered numerous dangers along the way to reach the top of the mountain. From the foregoing, it is accepted that extreme sports are not dangerous if participants have enough skills, and safety equipment. I believe that these kinds of activities should be promoted more widely to meet the demands of sportsmen’s free choice and to allow people to achieve glory when they enjoy these sports.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, there have been a growing number of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are concerned
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It is
generally
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not safe and it should
be prohibited
. This essay attempts to prove that this viewpoint is unconvincing to a certain extent.

It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be forbidden
. This is understandable due to the fact that these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
might cause injuries, even
potentially
lethal results, for individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
However
, my personal viewpoint is not completely in agreement with this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a creation that needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
instructions, detailed training and provides protective equipment to ensure that accidents are
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in skydiving need training by coaches within a certain period of time, and they should
be equipped
with protective gear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing the actual experiment.

From my perspective, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not
be banned
, we should encourage and promote these kinds of activities to a wider audience. The underlying reason is that participants have the freedom to select the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
they wish to participate in during their leisure times.
Additionally
, adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
produce more thrill and unforgettable experiences than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, thereby encouraging players to face and overcome their fears in these activities.
For instance
, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
try to climb the mountain can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a sense of victory after they have traveled a long distance and encountered numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
along the way to reach the top of the mountain.

From the foregoing, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
if participants have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and safety equipment. I believe that these kinds of activities should
be promoted
more
widely
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of sportsmen’s free choice and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to achieve glory when they enjoy these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS essay Many people say extreme sports are very dangerous and should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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