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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development? rEw6
The advent of a digital society has led to greater vulnerability in terms of the person information stored online. In my opinion, these associated dangers are significant but do not outweigh the benefits of a more convenient user experience. Concerned policymakers often argue that sensitive information registered online fosters widespread fraud. The majority of individuals store some degree of information online whether it is as simple as their address and phone number or more important data such as social security numbers or banking details. Naturally, this information can be stolen. The variety of methods used to steal information, including phishing emails and actual hacking of websites, pose challenges for law enforcement and can lead to crimes such as identity theft. These novel vulnerabilities that all consumers must become aware of are likely to remain a permanent fixture of online life. Nonetheless, the above instances are rare and storing information online allows for greater ease of access. The best evidence for this is that the vast majority of individuals have decided to store personal information online despite growing cognizance of the risks. For example, it is an afterthought to log in to a website, accept the cookies and store a username, and password. The next time the user logs in, the process only takes seconds and this small savings in terms of effort and time is justifiably meaningful in the aggregate. Moreover, in the case of online market trading platforms and banking websites, consumers are willing to divulge more confidential information to enjoy the conveniences of conducting transactions faster. In conclusion, the tradeoffs associated with storing important data online do not make it a negative on the whole. Consumers, corporations, and governments must take steps to ensure safety, while being mindful that saving time and effort are two of the more fundamental human priorities.
The advent of a digital society has led to greater vulnerability in terms of the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
stored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In my opinion, these associated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
are significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not outweigh the benefits of a more convenient user experience.

Concerned policymakers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue that sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
registered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
fosters widespread fraud. The majority of individuals store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
whether it is as simple as their address and phone number or more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data such as social security numbers or banking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
Naturally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be stolen
. The variety of methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to steal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, including phishing emails and actual hacking of websites, pose challenges for law enforcement and can lead to crimes such as identity theft. These novel vulnerabilities that all consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
become aware of are likely to remain a permanent fixture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
life.

Nonetheless, the above instances are rare and storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access. The best evidence for this is that the vast majority of individuals have decided to store personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
despite growing cognizance of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
For example
, it is an afterthought to log in to a website, accept the cookies and store a username, and password. The
next
time the user logs in, the process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes seconds and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
savings in terms of effort and time is
justifiably
meaningful in the aggregate.
Moreover
, in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
market trading platforms and banking websites, consumers are willing to divulge more confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to enjoy the conveniences of conducting transactions faster.

In conclusion
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tradeoffs
associated with storing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
on the whole
. Consumers, corporations, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take steps to ensure safety, while being mindful that saving time and effort are two of the more fundamental human priorities.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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