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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? WPbD
Currently, there has been a discussion about the causes of water pollution in many natural areas such as rivers, lakes and seas, which may have dangerous effects on human and wildlife societies. These issues has brought many concerns to people who tried to conserve the nature. This essay will examine the possible causes and how these issues could harm the environment. To begin with, the pollution issues in watersides have arisen from two main causes. Firstly, the industrialization which has brought comfort to our society as well as toxic wastes. As a result of this development, factories nowadays are producing more and more wastes to the river. Secondly, the rise of social platform that led people discovered more beautiful natural unseen areas. Indeed, human consumption contributes to a relatively significant portion of water pollution. Nowadays, not only humankind but also wildlife have suffered significantly from the water pollution. Obviously, the amount of fresh water, which originally consists of 1% of total water, is now insufficient for the population of human on the earth. According to the research of top ten universities in UK, the global demand of fresh water has been increasing heavily everday and is expected to grow ten times within a decade. Besides, the more serious effect on waste water is that it has reduced the size of wildlife livable area relatively including not only the marine animals but also mammals as well. As a result, we will experience a rising rate of extinctions of a variety of creatures in the near future. To summarize, the problems of water pollution has affected people and animals far more than we can expect. If this issues are not raised to key authorities, the damage of this problem could be relatively too large to handle.
Currently
, there has been a discussion about the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural areas such as rivers, lakes and seas, which may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects on human and wildlife societies. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who tried to conserve the nature. This essay will examine the possible causes and how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
could harm the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in watersides have arisen from two main causes.
Firstly
, the industrialization which has brought comfort to our society
as well
as toxic wastes.
As a result
of this development, factories nowadays are producing more and more wastes to the river.
Secondly
, the rise of social platform that led
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discovered more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
natural unseen areas.
Indeed
, human consumption contributes to a
relatively
significant portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution.

Nowadays, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
humankind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wildlife have suffered
significantly
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Obviously
, the amount of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which
originally
consists of 1% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
insufficient for the population of human on the earth. According to the research of top ten universities in UK, the global demand of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has been increasing
heavily
Possible spelling mistake found.
everday
and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to grow ten times within a decade.
Besides
, the more serious effect on waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the size of wildlife livable area
relatively
including not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the marine animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mammals
as well
.
As a result
, we will experience a rising rate of extinctions of a variety of creatures in the near future.

To summarize
, the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and animals far more than we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
. If
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are not raised to key authorities, the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
this problem could be
relatively
too large to handle.

IELTS essay Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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