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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development? 2YjA
Welcome to the Internet age. A new world of technology where a significant number of individuals share their private data such as where they live, mobile contact, and their date of birth just to have access to some social media websites and Internet banking. In my opinion, this tendency has both positive and negative implications. On the one hand, this new platform of sharing information with people via the web or organizations such as the bank provides comfort and accessibility to people. In other words, it becomes easier to make transactions from the ones home, thus saving time and energy that would have been spent going to the bank or visiting a friend. For instance, I no longer have to go to my financial institution to deposit a check because I have already shared my data with the bank to authorize my checks. Hence, giving me more time to do other important things during the day. On the other hand, identity theft has been on the rise since people started putting their personal details online. That is to say, criminals are now getting easy access to steal from people once they get these details. They can obtain this information from websites and just pretend to be someone else while committing a crime. To illustrate this point, the Nigerian police force arrested a young man who suspected of scamming an American man after tracking his phone and web address, but only to discover later that someone else was using his details after he lost his phone several weeks earlier. Thus one needs to be extra cautious with devices that have these details In conclusion, although one cannot negate the benefit that comes with sharing information, the adverse effect that comes with it can be very devastating and one needs to be careful when sharing.
Welcome to the Internet age. A new world of technology where a significant number of individuals share their private data such as where they
live
, mobile contact, and their date of birth
just
to have access to
some
social media websites and Internet banking. In my opinion, this tendency has both
positive
and
negative
implications.

On the one hand, this new platform of sharing information with
people
via the web or organizations such as the bank provides comfort and accessibility to
people
.
In other words
, it becomes easier to
make
transactions from the ones home,
thus
saving time and energy that would have
been spent
going to the bank or visiting a friend.
For instance
, I no longer
have to
go to my financial institution to deposit a
check
because
I have already shared my data with the bank to authorize my
checks
.
Hence
, giving me more time to do other
important
things during the day.

On the other hand
, identity theft has been on the rise since
people
started
putting their personal
details
online.
That is
to say, criminals are
now
getting easy access to steal from
people
once they
get
these
details
. They can obtain this information from websites and
just
pretend to be someone else while committing a crime. To illustrate this point, the Nigerian police force arrested a young
man
who suspected of scamming an American
man
after tracking his phone and web address,
but
only
to discover later that someone else was using his
details
after he lost his phone several weeks earlier.
Thus
one needs to be extra cautious with devices that have these
details


In conclusion
, although one cannot negate the benefit that
comes
with sharing information, the adverse effect that
comes
with it can be
very
devastating and one needs to be careful when sharing.
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IELTS essay Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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