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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. p2Bm
Nowadays a large number of people commute to and from work on a daily basis. For many of them, high-speed trains are the preferred method of transportation for a reason. Others think that there is no need for them and funds are better to be invested in the reconstruction of existing railway lines and the purchase of new regular trains. On the one hand, most people prefer to live outside cities as the land and accommodation there are at more affordable prices. However, they continue working in the urban areas. For these citizens, it is essential to be able to get to work as fast as possible as it saves time. High-speed trains are a solution to them. In addition, they do not need to focus on the traffic, be careful with their own driving or the behavour of other drivers on the road and can even do some work while on the train. On the other hand, investing big amounts of money in high-speed railways and high-speed trains will lead to higher ticket prices which in turn might benefit other kinds of transport such as busses or ferries. However, while making plans for improving existing public transport, governments should consider environmental pollution, especially pollution from exhaust fumes and fossil fuels. In conclusion, public transport is an issue which affects not only commuters but the whole population. Therefore, taxes paid by people should be spent on that type of transport which is most beneficial to society. In other words, I am convinced that for a better life and cleaner environment the idea of high-speed trains should be accepted.
Nowadays
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commute to and from work on a daily basis. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are the preferred method of transportation for a reason. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is no need for them and funds are better to
be invested
in the reconstruction of existing railway lines and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of new regular trains.

On the one hand, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
outside cities as the land and accommodation there are at more affordable prices.
However
, they continue working in the urban areas. For these citizens, it is essential to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible as it saves time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are a solution to them.
In addition
, they do not need to focus on the traffic, be careful with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
driving or the
Possible spelling mistake found.
behavour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
drivers on the road and can even do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work while on the train.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, investing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amounts of money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
railways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
will lead to higher ticket prices which in turn might benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
such as busses or ferries.
However
, while making plans for improving existing public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should consider environmental pollution,
especially
pollution from exhaust fumes and fossil fuels.

In conclusion
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is an issue which affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
commuters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the whole population.
Therefore
, taxes paid by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be spent
on that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
which is most beneficial to society. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, I
am convinced
that for a better life and cleaner environment the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
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IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.