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Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organisations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. Discuss both sides and give your own view.

Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organisations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. M619
Charities or the organizations who help the poor people have become numerous year after year. That's why there is a different point of view about this. While there are voices who calling these organizations and charities to help anyone in this planet no matter where he is, the others recommend these associations to help only their own people who live in the same country. For me, I believe that anyone in this world deserve help from the others. On the firsthand, the first opinion believe that's the help should be send to anyone in this world. With the help of globalization, the world has become like a small village. Which means, that anyone can be connected with the others in the other side of the world. For instance, people who live in the west have all the opportunities to send the help to the poor citizens in the poor countries. Furthermore, with the collaboration between the wealth and government, this may decrease the level of poverty in the third world nations. On the other hand, there are another point of view saying that these associations should focus on their own country. For example, they believe that when the government as well as the charities focus more on their own citizens, this may spread the mercy and connections among them. Moreover, with the focusing on the local poor people, the level of poverty may decrease in a specific countries, and led the nation to be more developed. And that without any doubt the society as well as the rulers of this state. In last, we can't deny the positive side of charity among any society, especially between the same country. But that, can't be compelety successful If this charity wouldn't export outside. In my opinion, I believe that association as well as the government, especially in the developed countries, should focus inside and outside their own nations to export their donations as much as they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charities
or the organizations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become numerous year after year. That's why there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view about this. While there are voices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
calling these organizations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anyone
in this planet no matter where he is, the others recommend these associations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For me, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anyone
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
deserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the others. On the firsthand, the
first
opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that's the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
should be
Consider using the past participle "sent"?
send
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anyone
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of globalization, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village. Which means, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anyone
can
be connected
with the others in the
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other
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the west have all the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
citizens in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
, with the collaboration between the wealth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, this may decrease the level of poverty in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
nations. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are another point of view saying that these associations should focus on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
focus more on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
citizens, this may spread the mercy and connections among them.
Moreover
, with the focusing on the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the level of poverty may decrease in a specific
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
, and led the nation to be more developed. And that without any doubt the society
as well
as the rulers of this state. In last, we can't deny the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
among any society,
especially
between the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that, can't be
Possible spelling mistake found.
compelety
successful If this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
wouldn't export outside. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that association
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
especially
in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, should focus inside and outside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nations to export their donations as much as they
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
can
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IELTS essay Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organisations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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