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many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films

many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films gV1l
In recent years, more and more people adore to watch films which are produced abroad than their own traditional films. I believe that traditional films need help as a finance by government Films teach us many essential things about life. However, nowadays most of people choose foreign films rather than locally produced films. The most significant reason for preference of abroad films is that it depends on quality of films. Thus, majority of widely-recognized films are produced by foreign developed countries. Secondly, actors or actrees who play on films are well-known people around the world. As an outcome, most of people know and interested in their life and their career. Through that their influence for foreign films higher than local films. By the way, foreign films based on a true story and most of them nominated for an award. Also it might be couse to increase number of viewers for these films. From my prespective, local films should be more valued than foreign one which has gained much popularity all over the world. Hence, local films represent the history and culture of countries and nations. A foreign films might be not suitable for their reliogn. Thus, in order to remain value of local films government should aid it by investigating money for this industry. Because, if film makers have good condition for work and modern technological devices, they can accomplish high achievments. Together that if they have a chance to tkae more salary and benifit behid making film, they may start working hard and effectively. Since, all producers want to get high benifit through making film. So that government should give financial support for producers so as to improve local film industry. To sum up, local film is, undoubtly, significant humans and i believe that so as to maintain value and motivating film makers, government ought to invest money in this field.
In recent years, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adore to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films which
are produced
abroad than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional films. I believe that traditional films need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
as a finance by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
government


Films teach us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential things about life.
However
, nowadays most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films
rather
than
locally
produced films. The most significant reason for preference of abroad films is that it depends on quality of films.
Thus
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
widely
-recognized films
are produced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.
Secondly
, actors or
Possible spelling mistake found.
actrees
who play on films are well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world. As an outcome, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know and interested in their life and their career. Through that their influence for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films. By the way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films based on a true story and most of them nominated for an award.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it might be
Possible spelling mistake found.
couse
to increase number of viewers for these films.

From my
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespective
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films should be more valued than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
one which has gained much popularity all over the world.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films represent the history and culture of countries and nations. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films might be not suitable for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
reliogn
.
Thus
, in order to remain value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should aid it by investigating money for this industry.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if film makers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition for work and modern technological devices, they can accomplish high
Possible spelling mistake found.
achievments
. Together that if they have a chance to
Possible spelling mistake found.
tkae
more salary and
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
Possible spelling mistake found.
behid
making film, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
effectively
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, all producers want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
through making film.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give financial support for producers
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
film industry.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
film is,
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtly
, significant humans and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
maintain value and motivating film makers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to invest money in this field.
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IELTS essay many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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