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Many people play sport when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop doing physical exercise? What can be done to solve this problem.

In today's world it is common for many people to change places where they live in opposite to times when people used to live in one house for the whole life. Some people believe that this trend is positive, while others think that it has the disadvantages. Nowadays people are more mobile which is mostly connected with their schools and workplace. It is a common belief now that if someone does not have a job, he or she has to migrate to another city or country. Another reason for changing house is that parents buy bigger houses in order to have more space for their children. It is not uncommon that neighbours do not know each other well. For example, in many blocks of flats people do not know even the name of their the nearest neighbour. Additionally, the bonds between parents and children if they live in different cities are not as tight as if they live in the same house. Nevertheless, living in several places has many benefits. The unemployment rate is lower because of work migration from villages to cities. This is clearly seen in China where the number of city habitants has rapidly increased in the last ten years. Besides that, people who buy bigger houses have to pay taxes and it means that they improve money circulation in the country which is especially important after global financial crisis. To sum up, it is common for many people to migrate from one place to another from different reasons. There are some disadvantages of such trend but the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages and I believe that it will not change in the future.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world it is common for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
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change
places where they
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live
in opposite to times when
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for the whole life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has the disadvantages.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more mobile which is
mostly
connected with their schools and workplace. It is a common belief
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that if someone does not have a job, he or she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
migrate to another city or country. Another reason for changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is that parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in order to have more space for their children.

It is not uncommon that
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbours’ is British English.
neighbours
do not know each other well.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
blocks of flats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know even the name of
Did you mean “they’re” or “there”?
their
the nearest
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbour’ is British English.
neighbour
.
Additionally
, the bonds between parents and children if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are not as tight as if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Nevertheless
, living in several places has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. The unemployment rate is lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of work migration from villages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in China where the number of city habitants has
rapidly
increased in the last ten years.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
taxes and
it means that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
money circulation in the country which is
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
after global financial crisis.

To sum up, it is common for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate from one place to another from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of such
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages and I believe that it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future.
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IELTS essay Many people play sport when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop doing physical exercise? What can be done to solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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