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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Now a days, comparing with the last few years, humans are more likely inclined towards the adventures and the happening life. Folks are more likely to live their life with the fullest. People are undertaking the extreme activities such as hang-gliding, mountain climbing, para riding etc. to have the life time experience with them. Before coming to my opinion, I would like to emphasis on few points regarding it. I believe, moreover than the risk of life, individuals are mostly considering it as a fun element and the adventures. It has been made a trend in current state of time. Since, the level of risk in such activities are been handled by the precautions and the safety measures, people are engaging their most of the fun ventures in these extreme activities. Hence due to all kind of defense and safeguards applied on such activities, humans are freely enjoying such daredevil rides, regardless of considering it as the risk of life. Few months ago, I went to attend a similar kind of program which consist of following schedules: mountain climbing, para-riding and the beneath aqua tour. I had the great experience enjoying all the activities in the program. It take over my confidence and encourage me to have a broader view to live a life, since it taught me and experienced me the beauty of the world that I had even seen before doing it. Talking about the risk factors, their where the trained assistants to assist me with the task to perform in correct manner and all the safety precautions where also given to me. The assistant guide me with all the do's and don'ts before i approach to the the task. Taking all the points into consideration, I would conclude it with the positive response towards the trend folks are creating by undertaking extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing.
Did you mean “nowadays”?
Now a days
, comparing with the last few years, humans are more likely inclined towards the adventures and the happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Folks are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with the fullest.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are undertaking the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as hang-gliding, mountain climbing, para riding etc. to have the
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life time
experience with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
coming to my opinion, I would like
Did you mean “to emphasize” (American English) or “to emphasise” (British English)?
to emphasis
on few points regarding it.

I believe,
moreover
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, individuals are
mostly
considering it as a fun element and the adventures. It has
been made
a trend in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
state of time. Since, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are been
handled by the precautions and the safety measures,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are engaging their most of the fun ventures in these extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
due to all kind of defense and safeguards applied on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, humans are
freely
enjoying such daredevil rides, regardless of considering it as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of life.

Few months ago, I went to attend a similar kind of program which consist of following schedules: mountain climbing, para-riding and the beneath aqua tour. I had the great experience enjoying all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the program. It
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “takes”.
take
over my confidence and encourage me to have a broader view to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, since it taught me and experienced me the beauty of the world that I had even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing it. Talking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
factors, their where the trained assistants to assist me with the task to perform in correct manner and all the safety precautions where
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to me. The assistant guide me with all the
Did you mean the idiom “dos and don’ts”?
do's and don'ts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
approach to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
task.

Taking all the points into consideration, I would conclude it with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response towards the trend folks are creating by undertaking extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing.
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IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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