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Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this?

Todays, it is becoming increasingly difficult for an average urban dweller to make enough time for physical exercise. In fact, inflexible timetable and involvement of contemporary technologies in daily life which are two reasons for physical inactivity. In fact, the best solutions involve state establishment of sports day and individual changes of the city population The main cause of the reduced physical activity of the city population is a tough schedule and lack of free time. It is not a secret that city residents are swept into the maelstrom of work and become depleted during the day. It is followed that a long process of work deprives a person’s energy, thereby killing the desire for physical development. As a result, individuals working tirelessly in cities tend to spend less time doing physical exercise compared to people living in rural areas. It is highly recommended to enact a sports day by the government to involve citizens to lead a healthy lifestyle. Apparently, a sports day will allow citizens to have spare time for exercise and improve health conditions, by having an opportunity to leave their daily routine. The creation of convenient conditions by modern technologies is the second cause of decreased physical activity. It is followed that mechanics began to replace human labor and job that used to perform manually replaced by automatic machines. As a result, a major number of citizens' household chores and … are done by machines, while rustic people increase their physical activity level by completing almost all occupations manually. It is highly recommended to involve the individual initiative of city residents. In fact, sport develops a person not only physically, but also mentally. Apparently, people should include allocating time every day to doing exercise and attend sports clubs as often as possible.
Todays
, it is becoming
increasingly
difficult for an average urban dweller to
make
enough
time
for
physical
exercise
. In fact, inflexible timetable and involvement of contemporary technologies in daily life which are two reasons for
physical
inactivity. In fact, the best solutions involve state establishment of
sports
day and individual
changes
of the city
population


The main cause of the
reduced
physical
activity of the city population is a tough schedule and lack of free
time
. It is not a secret that city residents
are swept
into the maelstrom of work and become depleted during the day. It
is followed
that a long process of work deprives a person’s energy, thereby killing the desire for
physical
development.
As a result
, individuals working
tirelessly
in
cities
tend to spend less
time
doing
physical
exercise
compared to
people
living in rural areas. It is
highly
recommended to enact
a
sports
day by the
government
to involve citizens to lead a healthy lifestyle.
Apparently
, a
sports
day will
allow
citizens to have spare
time
for
exercise
and
improve
health conditions, by having an opportunity to
leave
their daily routine.

The creation of convenient conditions by modern technologies is the second cause of decreased
physical
activity. It
is followed
that mechanics began to replace human labor and job that
used
to perform
manually
replaced by automatic machines.
As a result
, a major number of citizens' household chores and …
are done
by machines, while rustic
people
increase their
physical
activity level by completing almost all occupations
manually
. It is
highly
recommended to involve
the individual initiative of city residents. In fact,
sport
develops a person not
only
physically
,
but
also
mentally.
Apparently
,
people
should include allocating
time
every day to doing
exercise
and attend
sports
clubs as
often
as possible.
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IELTS essay Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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